062 - Taking It One Day At a Time with Shunta Grant
- A special series: May is for Mamas -
Our guest today is Shunta Grant:
Shunta Grant is the creator of the Best Today™ Guide, Because of Zoe Designs, host of The Business Life & Joy podcast and a business educator teaching entrepreneurs how to build and grow successful businesses that keep customers coming back time and time again.
Leaving the practice of law for full-time entrepreneurship, Shunta is an ardent advocate for enterprising women who want to take control of their lives by turning their talents and abilities into satisfying and profitable businesses. Shunta teaches entrepreneurs how to confidently prioritize their life all while putting in the work that is necessary to see tangible and measurable results in their businesses. Her commitment to helping entrepreneurs choose harmony over hustle shines through all that she does.
When Shunta isn’t helping women run businesses they love, she can be found reading a good book, taking a class at the gym or walking the aisles of Target and TJ Maxx with her daughter, Zoe. If you are ready to create more joy in your life and sustainability within your business, Shunta’s your girl!
Resources from this episode:
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Show Notes:
Today I’m having a conversation with my friend, Shunta Grant, and oh is it good! We talk about how important it is to just take it a day at a time—just to slow down, as mamas. It’s so important to look at our day and make a plan, and we talk about some practices that you can incorporate the night before and the morning of your day, and they’re so insightful and I think you’re really going to love it. I love Shunta, she is such a bright light in this world, and I hope you enjoy our conversation.
Hit play above to listen in!
Nancy Ray: Shunta, thank you so much for coming on the Work and Play Podcast. I am so excited to have you here today.
Shunta Grant: I am so excited to be here. It's really cool when you get to go on a podcast that you actually listen to and you're like, "Yay." I just love the mission and all the things you do here so I'm so honored to be here. Thank you.
Nancy: You're so sweet. I felt the same way when I was on your podcast. I was like, "I'm legit a fan girl. I listen to this podcast," so this makes me so excited. It's really fun we've been able to have each other on each other's podcast. It's fun. We met through our friend Lara Casey through Making Things Happen and it's just been such a joy over the years just to get to know you more. We always joke like, I think we're sisters. In another world, I feel like we're just cut from the same cloth, we operate the same way. We're both threes on the Enneagram. We're both passionate, We're both moms, we're ... There are so many things where we just look at each other all the time I feel like and be like, "Me too. Dude, me too. [inaudible 00:03:12]." So, it's just really fun to chat with you today. Yeah, I'm excited.
We are still in the middle of our series May is for Mamas. In this episode, I really want to talk to the working mama, people who are juggling things and really just get to the heart of that. As a mom, I think one of the things we get so overwhelmed with is looking in the future and looking at what's to come, or looking at all the things we have to do and it's really hard to just break it down to today and taking it one day at a time. So, I want to talk about that. I know this is something you're passionate about because you just released the Best Today Guide, which I love and I use. But before we get into that, before we talk about all of those things, I would love for you to just tell my listeners a little bit about you, your family, your work, just your story in a nutshell basically.
Shunta: Sure, the short version.
Nancy: Yeah, the short version.
Shunta: Well, I'm Shunta. I am a mother of two. I have a little one, Liam, my son who's almost two years old and Zoe, who is seven years old. We live in Greenville, South Carolina and right now we're all home. Let's see, what else? I am the owner of a number of businesses, Because of Zoe, which is named after my daughter which was my first business. I actually left the practice of law to pursue because of Zoe in 2015. Since then, that has organically transformed into me working with women business owners, and now really helping women in their lives right where they are. My mission to help women live life on the other side of busy, free of the overwhelm and the discontentment that I see rooted in just a life of business, which I believe the core problem there is not having a clear picture on what it is we want and how we want to spend each today.
For me, every today really does matter and so I talk about that a lot. But, really at the heart of what I do is I want to see women joyfully live out the days of their lives, because—That's a soap opera, the days of their lives—because it becomes your life. The days when they add up, become the years, and they become the memories and the way we live our lives. I want people to be able to reflect back and look on that with joy and knowing that they were intentional about the things that they did within it.
That's what I spend my days doing. It is a gift. I really do pitch myself sometimes, that this is the life I'm living right now and it's not ... It was not in my plan, but I'm grateful that I try not to stick to my plans. So yeah, that's what I do pretty much, well twice a day, twice a week rather. I have a nanny who comes twice a week and every other day I am momming it up. That's what life looks like right now balancing, well not balancing, harmonizing I'd rather say, business, life, and doing it all with a lot of joy.
Nancy: I love that. I also love that you just corrected yourself. You were like, "Eh, balancing, no that's not a thing," but harmonizing, that's a better word. I think if you get nothing out of this podcast episode, just take that away, right? It's not about balancing, it's harmonizing everything together and making it all work together, because balance is a myth. It's a unicorn. I always say you can't balance life. If you did that, it would be two hours for sleep, and two hours for your marriage, and two hours for your children, and two hours for your health and it's like ... two hours of sleep? That's not going to work. We're already out of balance because our bodies need to get a lot of sleep. You can't divide it all up and give everything equal amounts, it's just yeah, it's harmonizing all of the different things. All the different hats, all the different responsibilities.
Shunta: Yeah. I always say just think about it. People who have to walk a tightrope in the sky, they have to master balance. Is that how you want to live your entire life, walking on a tightrope? I think when you picture it that way, you realize how uncomfortable and scary that is, one wrong move and I fall to my death. That's what I think balance makes people feel like they have to live like, if I don't do this just perfectly, I'm going to plummet to my death and that's not how I want to live. That's why I immediately corrected myself. Balance and busy are two B words that I do not believe in.
Nancy: I love that. Tell me what you mean by the other side of busy.
Shunta: Yes. So, I lived on the left side of busy for a number of years. That is like when ... I remember when people would ask me how I was doing. No matter how I really was before I could even catch myself, the ... Busy just burst out of my mouth, "Oh, everything's good. Business is great. I'm just so busy." I would use that word to describe my life, my work, home. Every aspect of who I was, I was using this word to describe it. I still remember and I can see it to this day, the day I said it for the last time and I said ... Something just hit me. I said it to a mom who ... I had just dropped Zoe off to school and a mom asked how business was going and I said, "Oh, so good. Things are great. I'm just so busy."
I remember sitting in my car and I had this feeling, almost like me stepping outside of myself looking at myself. And I was like, "Why is that always my answer?" So I started thinking, "What does life look like right now?" I was happy because I was doing Because of Zoe full time at the time, Zoe was in school most of the day, so all day I was home in a quiet house to myself to do work I loved, but it was the way I was doing it. I had the time, but I was trying to do every aspect of the business. I was just trying to focus on the business even when it was family time, it was just ... It was something I loved so much, but I hadn't put any boundaries on it. I wasn't working towards specific goals or trying to create specific outcomes, I was just doing. So, I'd wake up and I'd just do, and then I'd go to sleep and wake up and do.
So, busy doesn't mean you're not happy. It doesn't mean you're not doing things you love, but we look at the heart of what it is: You're actually just functioning day in and day out without a clear picture on where you're trying to go and how everything you're doing and the day-to-day is contributing to the vision you have for your future. That's what I was lacking. That was me living on this left side of busy and when I realized that, I put things in place: limitations, boundaries. I didn't have work hours. It was if I could breathe, I was going to work. I was going to be thinking about work and I thought, "Well, this is the gift because you get to do what you love." I didn't realize that even that needed boundaries to protect the other things because I'm more than just a business owner. I'm more than just a mom, I'm more than just ... I needed to protect the things that made me who I was.
Self care, waking up like I do now and having the first few hours of my day dedicated to myself, there was none of that. I didn't notice it until I realized how it was being reflected, and how I characterized, the narrative I was saying on my life was busy, busy, busy. Fast forward to life now on the other side of busy, one that is marked by intention, being proactive with my time, setting boundaries, prioritizing. The peace over here is more than just being happy to what you are doing, but it's having the peace and the joy, and knowing that your time is allocated with intention. That is the other side of busy and it's the place I see so many women longing to be, but not understanding the root problem or root problems to what's keeping them from really getting over here. So, I literally feel like I am in this fight. I have this rope and every day I come to sit at this desk, I'm just pulling the rope trying to get as many women to grab on while I pull them over here.
Nancy: I love that. I think as working moms, and you and I have both been working moms. You had Zoe when you were still practicing law, right?
Shunta: Yes, mm-hmm.
Nancy: So you went from being a lawyer, having your first child, then transitioning out of that, starting your own business, having your second child, starting another business, starting a third business. I love your story because I think our brains just work so much alike. I know not everyone listening will relate but it's, whether you have a job where you work for someone else and someone's always telling you of the long list of things that you have to do like it was for you when you were practicing law or if you own your own business, there's always things that you can be doing to further your business. I mean, it's almost like ... Someone said one time, "Oh, I quit my job so I could be my own boss and then work even harder for myself, pull more hours and more thing," because the list ... You're in charge, but the list ... You see the whole list. You see all of it, and it just keeps going.
I think so easily as working mamas, we can just throw ourselves into the work. Especially if you're wired like me and you, a three on the Enneagram means that we're achievers. We like to do things, we like to set goals and accomplish them. If you're like that, like me and Shunta, it can feel like you don't intentionally forget yourself, but you do forget yourself. You don't intentionally let work completely take over, but then work completely takes over. Then you look back and ... At least this is for me. I've looked back. I've felt like, "Okay, I'm failing as a mom, I don't know when I've eaten, I can't remember the last time I've worked out or taken care of my body," and it's like yeah, that busy, that word. I was writing there with you for so many years just saying, "How are you?" "Well, I'm busy. We're booked. I got to keep up with these clients, I got to do that."
Then you start to feel sorry for yourself or like, "Why can't ... Is this ..." I don't know, there's a lot of emotions that go into just being that busy all the time. The bottom line is, it's just not healthy. It's not healthy as a person to be in that driven, elevated state of do, do, do, do, do, all the time. You have to breathe. You have to be human. You have to take care of your body, you have take care of yourself. This is something I'm talking about and I'm still learning myself very much, so I think it's just a lifelong lesson of learning this.
But, I just appreciate you speaking into that and saying it's not really a banner that we should wave over us as something to be proud of when we say busy. I think I did that for a long time. But instead, just to evaluate like, "Is being this busy really healthy? Is it really good or do I need to step back and live life on the other side of that?" Let's get past that. Let's not wave that as a banner and instead, let's evaluate like, "What does a healthy me look like?"
Shunta: Yeah, absolutely. I think once we actually take busy and—We've desensitized that word so much because honestly, I look at it on that list of the dirty four letter words—we have made it so normal and, like you said, some people make it a thing that's like, "Oh wow, she is so busy. She must be important," that we wear it. Some people wear it as a badge of honor. But if you can start moving that and start saying, instead of saying busy say, "I'm so unintentional," eventually you'll be tired of saying I'm so unintentional, because now you're saying the real things. You're saying the real words, because those are saying the same things. If you're busy, that means you're just getting up and doing, doing, doing to do. Your to-do list has a to-do list. But when you can pause that and really start being more intentional ... I always tell people when they say they're busy, I say, "Oh, so you're unintentional. Oh, so you're ..." I start dissecting the word, so we can talk about what you're really telling me here.
Nancy: I read something one time. I'll have to find it and send it to you Shunta because I think you would love it. But, it talks about busy people are the laziest people and how busy people default to doing all the time. They don't actually stop to plan. They're actually pretty lazy because they don't take time to plan and thoughtfully map out the priorities of what they're doing. I was so convicted when I read that because I was like, "Oh, busy people are lazy people?" It was in a devotional I was reading. I was like, "Wait, what?" I was like, "I thought busy people were productive people," and it's like, no. Actually when you're that busy all the time, it could be a sign of laziness because you're not actually stopping, and breathing, and mapping out things and prioritizing.
I thought that was pretty interesting, but I want to talk about how we can really take hold of life just in our day-to-day. Because, that's where all of this lies. Ultimately that's all we have. I even did Episode 50, all we have is today. I think mapping out your day and planning for your day and being intentional, happening to your day rather than letting your day happen to you is such a secret to a fulfilling life, but it's also ... It's empowering. It makes you feel good and it really puts you, I don't know, I don't want to say in the driver's seat. But in a way, it just makes you feel better. You know what I mean?
It makes you feel like, "Okay, I've got a handle on this and I'm not just haphazardly living." We keep coming back to that word intentional, but that's really what it's about. It's setting the right priorities and then doing them. So, I want to talk about just how you make the most of today, and especially for moms. What are some ways that our listeners can really just make the most of today? What are some practices that you do every day to make the most of the day right in front of you?
Shunta: Yeah. We have this saying over the Best Today Brand is, I choose today. We say that every day. We say that in our team meetings, we just say, "I choose today." What we mean by that first and foremost is when you can just proclaim that you choose today, what you're saying is, "I'm not spending any time today regretting yesterday. I'm not spending any time today worrying about tomorrow. And, I'm not spending any time today trying to predict the future." Because, all of that is bringing you unnecessary stress and strain. We choose today. So yesterday, tomorrow and the days beyond, all that is shaped by first and foremost, what you do today. So, how about we try to ... So, we start by saying I choose today. Even if you can just start waking up in the morning and say, "I choose today," just, "I choose today."
But, one of the most important things I do that allows me to choose today happens before. For me, one of the best things that I do is I think about every day before that day begins. So every night, I ... One of my ... The beginning of my morning and the end of my days are two of my favorite parts of the day because it's quiet. I wait till my children are asleep or off on a walk with my husband, and I come in and I think about what the next day looks like. I think about what I'm going to do for my morning routine. I have pretty much the same routine every morning right now. I get up really early before anyone else in my house because I don't know what the day will bring. I know what I have planned for today to bring but again, we don't know what the day will bring.
But, I usually guarantee that if I get up first, I can have time for reading, journaling, praying. If I need to get a few extra early hours of work done, I do that. I go for a run as soon as the sun rises. My watch buzzes at 6:50, and now I've noticed the last few days that sun is rising a little bit earlier. I try to get out and get a run in my neighborhood. I do the things that I need for me first, so that I can be my best for everyone else. All the people who I love and who love me, all the people who are relying on me in that day, the best way to guarantee that I give them my best is for me to give my best first.
So, I plan that out before the day begins. I literally visualize what it looks like for me to get up, come to my desk. I know where I'm going to sit, I have my little tiny light that comes on that doesn't give me too much light for the morning. I choose today by being intentional about what I'm going to do with that day. That looks like getting up, taking care of myself first, thinking about what do I need for my mental, my emotional health, my physical health and then, what are the most important things that happened today? And, what are all the things that need to be done? Those are two different questions. All the things that need to be done aren't all the things that are most important today. I think about all of that before the day begins so when I wake up, I've already created this roadmap for myself, and so I don't spend any time in my day ever thinking, "Hmm, what am I going to do today?"
I tell myself that ahead of time and for me, that allows me to show up for everyone. I do that for my children as well. I tell my daughter, "Here's the routine for tomorrow. This is what tomorrow will look like." Now we don't have to have the time of saying, "Can I do this? Can I do that?" We've already had the conversation like, "Here's what tomorrow looks like." It just brings so much peace and order, and profit even into your day because you actually end the day with something. And it could be ... Even if your day is, "I am going to just sit on the floor and play with my children all day," that's something but whatever that thing looks like, I have that mapped out. So for me, the first step in being able to really make the most out of each today is to be intentional and proactive, which means think about it before my eyes wake up in that day.
Nancy: Yeah, I totally agree. I can't even tell you what waking up before the kids does for me. If I can just wake up before they wake up, it's a totally different day, than if they're the ones waking me up. As a mama-
Shunta: It happens.
Nancy: It happens. Sometimes I'm like, They were up overnight, they were sick, whatever. I'm like, "I'm sleeping until they wake me up. That's just the choice I'm making for today." And those days are fine too. It's not like it's a lost day by any means, but-
Shunta: No, that's what you needed. That's the thing, you knew what you needed. Liam naps on my days where I don't have the nanny. I try to be really productive and knock out a few things. Yesterday I took a two hour nap when he napped because that's what I need it. I don't want anyone to think that the right answer is always going hard or doing ... No, no, we're just saying being clear on what it is you need, and making sure you put in the space for that. Because, sometimes it is going to lunch with a friend, calling a friend. Whatever you need, but you have to ... Planning that into your day. But yeah, sometimes that is sleep.
Nancy: I love that you look and visualize your day the night before you wake up, and we'll talk about your Best Today Guide. I'll probably talk about it throughout this episode, but you sent me one so that I could try it. I've been using it and I love it. I can't even tell you Shunta, I don't think I've ever, maybe ... I could probably count it on one hand the times that I've planned out my day the night before. I usually wake up and plan it in the morning. But this one simple practice of thinking about what your day is going to be like before you fall asleep, it's pretty game changing.
I was like, "Oh, I'll do that, that's fine." When I got it I was like, "I'll try it, that's fine. Maybe I'll do it." No, it really is so profound. I mean, it really helps you think through what you want the day to look like. Then you wake up and it doesn't end there. I mean, you don't only plan for your day the night before. What do you do in the morning to set yourself up for success as part of your morning routine to plan out your day? It's like a two-part thing. You you plan it out the night before, but then you also revisit it the morning of.
Shunta: Yeah, yeah. I start my day ... I leave ... I do mine to my Best Today Guide, but you can do this in anything. I use the Best Today Guide, but I leave it on my desk. So after I do the first things I do in the morning, I do the morning practice also, which is looking at what's my best, like, what does my best look like today? And again, that changes from day-to-day. Your best today may be like, "Maybe I'm going to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some chips and that's all they're going to have," but your best ... Another day may be, "I'm making a seven course meal." But, we get to decide what that looks like.
So I start my day with, what does my best look like for me today? A lot of times that's just reminding myself I need to be graceful, joyful, loving. Am I practicing humility? Am I walking by faith today? Am I being ... Do I need to be focused today? I need to be on time. I know one of the things I've been reading lately is I need to go to bed on time, I need to start dinner on time because if I don't start dinner on time, it trickles down and affects everything else. Starting my day with that picture of what does my best look like, it gives me the standard for the day. There's no excuse now like, "Oh, I didn't know I probably should do that."
Then something that I think a lot of people hesitate thinking about, I also ask myself, "What are those self destructing things that I do that I need to avoid today?" Because if I think about all the good but I don't cut out the bad ... If you try to eat more kale but you also keep eating gallons of ice cream every day, the kale's not going to help you, right? So, we have to pull those things out. It's like, "What are the things I know I do that I need not to do, that are actually taking away the good that I'm planting?" I ask myself that every day.
Then I also look at, what is my vision for the future? I write that down every day and I visualize that too. One of the first things I always write every day is that I'm a healthy runner running with my children. I have visions of running races with them when we're older and I see us with the numbers on our chest. I just see being able ... And that's so important to me for so many reasons, one being healthy. That makes me make good choices today. That motivates me to get up and run every day when I may not want to but I'm like, "I want to run with my children. I need to keep this practice up."
Then the last thing: what's one thing I'm going to do today that's going to progress me toward that future. Because it's one thing to say you want something in the future but if you're not moving toward it, if you're not making steps toward it, are you actually going to get there? So having that focus every morning on the big picture, what really matters but also today at the same time, I really love that dichotomy because it helps form for me a circle over my whole day. Really keeping things in perspective and keeping the focus on what really matters to me and on my vision for the future, but also realizing that the way I get there is by what I do today. Again, everything goes back to what does my best look like today? What are the self destructing things I need to avoid today, so that I can have this vision for the future?
Nancy: I think one of the most enlightening parts of using the Best Today Guide for me personally has been that box that's ask the question, what are the self destructing things that I need to avoid today? Because when I pause and ask myself that in the morning, I actually realize, "Okay, I have this habit of doing X, Y, and Z, and I'm going to do that." Like for me, I have the habit of just getting up and going and then starting doing mindless things that maybe I'm good at, but aren't the most important things. Unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, whatever. Turn the TV on for the kids, whatever. That's not really the best options for right now, today. There are other things I could do that would be a better use of my time.
But usually what happens is I get up, I do the things I'm used to and, then by the end of the day I'm like, "What did I do?" What happened today?" Then I'm like, well I feel anxious and frustrated because this is just what I'm used to doing but I didn't ever stop and actually think about what I want to do or what was good for me and my children. I just did the thing I knew to do, and I've been ... This is so random. It's not random, it pertains, but it's off subject so bear with me as I veer off. But Shunta, I've been learning so much about our brains this year. I mean, it's crazy, our brains are crazy. That's amazing. I don't know why. I never knew the way that our brains work. I don't think I ever took an anatomy class. I don't even know that they teach it in anatomy. I don't know, but I think it's incredibly important for us to realize how our brains work.
And I have learned ... I read the book Switch On Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf and I have an episode about that. Your brain forms these neural pathways and the more you do something, the easier it is to do and you default back to that thing. So as we're getting older, you hear the phrase you're getting old and set in your ways. Well, that's true and it's because these pathways have been formed in your brain and you get comfortable doing these things. Whether or not they're good for you, whether or not they're healthy for you, you're used to it. You just default back to it.
I think what's so good about stopping and focusing on today and asking yourself those questions, what does my best today look like? What are the self destructing things I need to avoid today? What's my vision for the future? You put a pause on all of those default mannerisms or habits and you ask yourself important questions to reset and say, "Okay, let me just not do all the things I'm used to doing. Let me actually ask these questions and then do the right things today," and that is a game changer. I mean, it changes ... And it will start to form new neural pathways, which is so cool because you can actually rewire your brain, which is so cool. Anyway, yeah. I just think it's the coolest thing but I also think that's been one of the biggest benefits for me using the Best Today Guide, is stopping and thinking, what are the self destructing things that I do almost every day that I need to avoid? It's been super helpful.
Shunta: And your brain isn't going to stop you from doing it because your brain's job also is to help preserve calories and doing something different outside of your normal routine actually takes more work for your brain than it would if you didn't. So what happens is that's the danger of developing bad habits, is that your brain is going to allow you to continue to do it because it's like, "Oh, this is just as normal to us as breathing, so we're not going to fight changing that," which makes it really hard sometimes to break bad habit. Actually if you haven't read Atomic Habits by James Clear, I highly, highly recommend it. We're doing a book study of it in the Best Today community.
When you were talking I was like, "Yep, this is talking about habits," What happens when we repeatedly do something so much that it becomes the default, and our brain doesn't stop us from doing it because it's like, "Oh, this is like cruise control for me. I don't have to do any extra work. She's always going to ... Every time she walks into the mall, she's going to get a churro. We're not going to stop her from getting that churro because we know: we're cued by the scent, we buy it, we eat it." That's how it works.
So, that's why I try in this to help build good habits because if we can build more of those, we can start to ... And acknowledge the bad ones or the unproductive ones, the self destructive really. Because really when you think about it, the reason I use self destructive is because that way you can't blame anyone else, right? We didn't say, what does society do to you? Or, what does someone else do? It's self destructive, which means you have the power to also be the solution, not just the problem. I think when we put it in those terms, we really do realize the only person who's going to rescue me from these things is myself, which is always the good news and the bad news at the same time.
Nancy: Right. I can't wait to read Atomic Habits. I have not read it yet, but it's going on my list. If I can read it this year, I will. If not, it's definitely going on my book list for next year. But man, I've heard so many good things about that book and I do think it's right in line with everything we're talking about.
What I'm hearing you say Shunta is to really make the most of the day that's in front of you, the day that you've been given. Some healthy habits would be to really plan it out the night before and think it through, talk through your morning routine. In the Best Today Guide it outlines your morning routine, what will I do for my mental and emotional health? You plan out the hours of your day. One thing I love about that page too, is you write out ... You have a list that says results and outcomes, and you don't write down what you hope to do today. That's been a huge mindset shift for me is, I write down the outcomes that are going to come out of my day. The things I'm actually going to finish, which is really a different perspective. It's been a game changer for me.
But you do that the night before and then the day of, you talk about ... It's more of a picturing exercise. What does my best look like? What do I need to avoid? And then, what does my future look like? You really start to incorporate those things. So the night before, the morning of, but then I want to talk also about your weekly rhythm and how to preview the week. Maybe I should've started with this, but I think this is really important to just look over on a weekly basis, what it looks like to plan out and set yourself up for success that way.
Shunta: Yeah. What I do is, we have one page that is just clearing your mind. Before I plan my week, I download everything that's in my mind. That can look like, okay, are these the things that I have leftover from last week or thoughts that came to my mind this week? Things I think I need to do. Just anything that's in my head, I write it down so that when I go to look at my week, none of that stuff is in my head anymore. I'm just looking at what is to come. I start off thinking about, "Okay, what are the things that have to take place, involves someone else?" Things like, "Thursday at two o'clock, I'm going to be talking to Nancy." On Sunday night I wrote that down, so that I could get a good roadmap of what this week looks like.
And I'm really intentional about segmenting things. Typically if I need to make an appointment for Zoe or Liam or myself, that happens on Mondays. If we need to run errands, that's on Fridays. I take calls typically on Thursdays, and really one Thursday of the month. I do that so that in one given day, I'm not doing 17 different things. I'm writing in the morning, then I talk to a client, and then I go run an errand. That chops up your day and steals your time, so I'm intentional when I plan or look over my week to make sure I've actually batched activities, because that's going to allow me to be the most productive.
On the days where I'm creating content and I'm writing, that's usually the only thing I'm doing that day because I'm going to get the best flow out of me for my audience when I'm just sitting there and thinking and writing. Those are my favorite days, just to sit and think and write because it's so rare that we make time for the things like sitting and thinking and writing, which is also how I start my morning every day. So, I think it's really important to preview your week to see, get a overview of what's coming up that week. That also may be indicating when you can say, "You know what? I didn't realize that this week was this full. I'm going to actually cancel this, I'm actually going to reschedule this. Actually, why am I still doing this thing over here that I hate? Let me just go on and get out of that thing." I'm hoping things like that will happen. When you really start getting a picture of it, we really become true to ourselves.
Then I also ask myself, "What's my primary focus this week? If I only could do one or two things this week, what does that look like? What's the focus this week and what are the one to two things by Friday I'll have completed? What will I have done by the end of the week?" So now before my week even starts, I have an understanding of okay, this is the most important thing, this is the focus. So let's say life happens in everything goes array, I can at least say, "Okay, well as long as I do the thing here that I said was the most important and get these two things I said I would get done on Friday, I'm good."
Everything else will get re-shifted in re-planned or canceled as needed, but I've already told myself these things are the most important so that when life happens, not if, but when life happens, you don't have to then when you're in your emotions and your frustrations decide what to do. You've already told yourself when you plan your week if all else fails, do these two things. This is the focus for this week. You've already taken a lot of that decision making out so that when our emotions do get involved, we've already had that rational choice been made for us.
Nancy: I love that. I think you're setting yourself up for a win that way. You know, I think of ... When I look at my week I'm like, "I'm going to do these 20 things." Then by the end of the week you're like, "Oh, that was not successful. I did three of them." Then you feel sad and then you're like, "Well, okay. I'll try harder next week." But if you only set yourself up to do one thing, this week I am primarily focused on this one thing, man, by the end of the week if I look back and say, "Hey, I did that one thing but I didn't do these other things," you're going to be like, "Hey, high five. I did it. I did that thing I said I was going to do."
I think it's a simple mindset shift that can really be a gift to just how you live your life. It's simple, but ... I also ... Yeah, I love what you said about that, choosing one thing to focus on. Nothing else, this is the one thing. Then also just looking at your week as a whole. I really love doing that too because I think it does allow you to really strategically plan the best days to do what. We also use this to just get on the same page in our marriage. I talk to Will about our week, what's going on this week? What do you expect? What do I need from you? What do you need for me? All of that is so healthy and good. And then once ... It's like once you have that week laid out, it's much easier to break it down day-to-day and there's a lot less guesswork that comes into the day-to-day because you've already laid out the week.
Shunta: Absolutely. So tonight when I go to play in Thursday, I'm just going to turn and look at what I wrote down for Thursday and then go from there. There are some extra results and outcomes that I need to do, but then I know what the bigger ... Like, "Okay, these are the things like at 1:30 I have this call," so I know at 1:30 this is what I'll be doing. So I'll know, okay calls usually ... I usually put calls for the last part of my day so again, they're not breaking up my day. So I know okay, I have to get all these other things completed before I begin “extroverting” for the day. So, just being intentional about that.
I keep limited space intentionally for that. I don't have enough space to write 15,000 different things to do. I don't give myself the space for it and if I don't give myself the space for it, I won't feel it. But guess what? If we gave ourselves one sheet of paper to write down what we're going to do every single day, a full sheet or two full sheets, you're going to fill it up. So another thing that I would say to anyone listening, whatever you use, use small space because if it's a lot of space, you're going to use it all up. You're going to find ... There are always things that we could all be doing. I mean, I really think I could work for seven days straight without sleeping and still have things to do, but that's not reality. I intentionally make things small so that you cannot write all the things, because that's the point.
Nancy: I love that. Be concise and focus on what's most important. Yeah, I love that. Quick, realistic question, how long does it take you to preview your day the night before? When you're doing the nighttime routine, does it take you like 20 minutes? Does it take you like one minute? How long does it take for you to plan out in the following day?
Shunta: Five to seven minutes I would say. I've been doing this for a long time, so it's just ... And I have the same morning routine for the most part so I'm writing almost the same thing every day. Then some days that are more full and I have to think of, "Okay, I have a longer day so I'm going to have more results and outcomes that usual." Because I'm also very careful in how I write out my results and outcomes. I don't give myself lazy tasks like call the baker. Why do I need to call the baker? Confirm that the baker is going to have the cake ready Thursday at 5:00.
I like to write that specific because if I call the baker and they're not there, I technically could scratch that off, but I haven't gotten what I needed done. I haven't confirmed that my cake's going to be ready in time. So, I also am trying to train my brain and I ... The reason I do that and I make that nuance is because it trains my brain again to get out of the doing, just doing stuff. That's where I used to be, just doing as opposed to saying, what's the reason I'm doing it? What's the outcome that I need to once I get this thing, then check as opposed to once I do this thing, but I may not have had the outcome or the result I was looking for.
But really I think someone starting out, it might take you 10 minutes. It depends on how much you have but I will say the more you do it, it becomes that habit, that routine. It's like getting in the car and putting your seatbelt on. You will build a good rhythm. But I think it does take a little bit of time. I just am so used to it because I've done this for years. Even before I created this product, this is what I was doing in paper, in journals and notepads. That's why I just said, "Let me just create something that helps this system I use." But I do think the more ... It's like a muscle, the more you do it, the easier becomes to flex.
Nancy: That's been one of the biggest gifts in practicing and using the Best Today Guide. As I've been getting used to it, it is just the nuances of the way that I've thought about things. I'm thinking of the outcomes and I'm thinking of myself as a whole person. I'm no longer thinking of the to-do list, which is the space I've lived in for so many years. I think it's just been such a gift because it really has made me step back and look at my life as a whole, look at my days as a whole and think about, "What's the healthiest thing for me? What are the best choices today?" Not just, "What can I do today?"
It's a real gift, Shunta. I really love it. And it is all in the small ways that you say it, what are the outcomes? What's the most important thing I can do this week? Just the one thing. All of those little things, and what self destructive behaviors can I avoid? What does my vision for the future look like? These things that I've learned to start asking myself on a daily basis. I was never asking myself those questions before. It has been such a gift to me, so I just want to say thank you because it's been a really good eye opener for me personally.
Shunta: Thank you. I've never been more excited about something I've created, well, not my children of course, but a product because-
Nancy: They win. The kids win.
Shunta: Right. But it's just so exciting because I know what it has done for me and I was just telling someone this yesterday. I said, "For me, it's the life change." If I could give these away, I would because for me the payment comes when someone comes back and says, "I was using this, let me tell you how much time ..." They say, "Let me tell you how this helped me to be a better woman, a better mom. To be more present, to start thinking about these things. I stopped doing this thing that I used to do when I knew it wasn't healthy for me." For me, that's me saying, "Cha-ching." That's what I do this for, it's because I'm really interested in life transformation. If it's not going to make someone better, I don't have the time for it.
So for me, I can talk about this product all the time. And not even the product, it's just the things that we're talking about. If you never even touch the Best Today Guide, start thinking these things to yourself. They're so important because what I have found is with the vision for the future, I used to ... I always write down generosity. I am a generous person, I am generous, I am a generous person. And just writing that, I can see more opportunities to be generous in everyday now. It's like it was always there but my eye, my mind wasn't on it and so I missed it. So, who do you want to become? Do you want to be a generous person? Are you writing that down?
Because what you'll find is when you're thinking about that every single day, your eyes are going to be open to all these opportunities for you to be generous that you never saw before, or whatever it is you want to be. If you keep writing you want to be healthy, you're going to find you're going to start making better, healthier choices. And it really does ... I mean, the transformation doesn't end. I created this. I've been doing this system and I still use it and it's still working because it's a process, us bettering ourselves and being our best. What I love about it is that anyone, Oprah could benefit from this.
It's not like, "Oh, I've gotten to a point in my life and now I'm just ... I've reached the top." It's something we all have something we could be working on and when you do this every day, you start to see opportunities for the things that really matter to you. I've just found that to be so really cool and neat about this, is I write it every day and now I see how it's changing the way I think, the way I feel, the way I show up.
Another thing about the self destructing habits is when you call them out, when you find yourself going to do that thing, I've found that one of the things I used to put is just picking up my phone when I had been working for too long and I just needed a break, and just start phone tapping, just tapping from app, to app, to app, to app. When I go to do that now, literally something comes to mind. I see my myself writing down, this is self destructing, and I put it back. You catch yourself a lot faster now because you've called yourself out on it. It just really, really works and it's really exciting to hear other people. When I hear other people who use it say that, it just means so much to me because that's what I envisioned when I created this. Hearing women say, "It worked for me," is the best. It's just the best.
Nancy: Yeah, totally. If you're listening to this and you're like, "Oh, this has totally turned into like a Best Today Guide episode all about that." Well, yeah. It has because I really do love it. But at the same time, I want you to know whether or not you get this product, these practices are the power. And if you've listened to this episode, you know the questions to ask yourself, you know what to do. You can do it on a blank sheet of paper the night before, the morning of, you can set up your week, but Shunta's just packaged all that together with these questions in the Best Today Guide as a tool, if you want to try to use it in that form. But, I know Shunta's heart and my heart is to help you and asking those questions is really where the help is. We want to encourage you just to do life one day at a time. Shunta, do you have any final words of encouragement just to take life a day at a time and just the power of doing that?
Shunta: Yes and before I forget, one of my blog posts is a free download. You don't even have to give us your email addresses, it's literally 100% free. It has wallpapers for your phone and for your computer that just say, "I choose today." I just want to make that available for you all. It's on the Best Today Blog at besttodaybrand.com. Absolutely free, no emails, nothing. If you need that reminder, get that and put it on your phone, put it on your computer. It just says, "I choose today."
But I would say, get very clear on what you want, who you want to be. I think that's a foundational thing. If you can get clear on what really matters to you and who you want to be, who you aspire to become, who you need to become to get the things that you want out of your life, then ask yourself in this day, today, what is one thing I can do to move toward becoming her? To move toward no longer being her, the person you don't want to be? One thing, this is not going to happen overnight. It is a 1% chance. He talks about that in Atomic Habits. I think we undervalue the 1% change, because the 1% change is what gets us to the 100% change.
The numbers don't go one, 100, right? That's on purpose. We teach our child two, and three, and four, same with us. So, just one today. What is it you can do today? One thing. That one thing might be listening to this podcast. What's one thing I can do today, to make me become the person I know I need to be going forward? Or, what's one thing I can do today to stop being that person I know? Are you talking negatively about yourself? Are you being ... Are you not being graceful? Are you gossiping? What are the things ... What's one thing you can do to perhaps be better today? And it's just one thing.
I would challenge you to ask yourself that today. And again, 1%, small things. We're not looking for running a marathon tomorrow, we're looking at putting my shoes on and walking out the door, and then walking back in the house. Because guess what? That's the first step to going outside and running, is to put your shoes on and just walk out the door. Okay, I just did that and I saw it wasn't too hard. Tomorrow I'm going to put my shoes on and I'm going to walk to the mailbox. Then the next day I'm going to put my shoes on and I'm going to walk to the stop sign. If you want to start walking, it can be 1% steps. I just don't want you ... I think a lot of times women feel like if I can't go 100, I'm not going to go at all. 1% is all I'm asking from you, is 1%.
Nancy: I love that. Shunta, thank you so much. I love everything we talked about today. I feel so inspired and encouraged by you just as a person and the work that you do. I'm so thankful for you and to have you in my life. I want to close by just asking three fun questions. I think I already know the answer to the first one, but the first one is, what is a book that you're loving?
Shunta: Yes, Atomic Habits by James Clear. If you haven't read it and if you can put it on your list, I highly recommend it.
Nancy: I have heard so much about it. You're not the only one who's told me that, so I'm really excited. It's already on my list.
Shunta: Funny story, I actually write this down in my Best Today Guide under vision for the future. I have on here, have a conversation with James Clear. I write that down. I want to talk to him. I love that book so much.
Nancy: That's amazing.
Shunta: I read it after I created the Best Today Guide, but it blends so much because it talks about habits. But yeah, I write that down in my vision for the future so I know it's going to happen. It's pretty cool that he's in my Best Today Guide.
Nancy: Well when that happens, I can't wait to hear about it because it will. I know you and it will happen, it's so awesome. Okay, what's a product that you're loving? This can be anything?
Shunta: Okay, let's see. Any type of anything?
Nancy: Anything, any type of anything. For work, for your home, for your hair, for your kids, for whatever.
Shunta: Oh man, I feel like there are so many things I'm just using and loving. I guess with my children, I ordered from Amazon this disco party light. It was like $14. I had to find a way to make being at home exciting. It's a disco party light that just puts different colors on the walls. It makes any mundane thing like Zoe folding her laundry, you get to fold your laundry in your room with the disco party light, so it just makes that thing way more exciting. And we celebrate the end of the day with our disco parties, we listen to music and ... It's just something simple, but it turns every day, every moment again, choosing today into a party.
Nancy: That's amazing. I love that. I really want to get one now. That's awesome. Okay, the last question. How do you maintain a healthy soul and a fulfilling life?
Shunta: That an excellent question. I have right here, I'm actually looking at it next to me my personal mission life statement and I look at it every day. I remind myself to stay rooted in what doesn't change, because life happens. So much can change. Our lives can change with a phone call. But, I like to root myself in that which I know does not change. By rooting myself in that in truth and in relationship, I really find that it just helps me have a proper perspective of everything because that will never change. For me, having a relationship and God's Word, it just roots me. It just really It keeps everything in perspective because no matter what can change, I have that one thing, this one solid rock I know never will. For me, that is the foundation for everything that I do. It's why I show up and why I'm grateful to do the work that I do.
Nancy: I love that you have a life mission statement. I think it's so important to have something visually written out in front of you. That's awesome.
Shunta: Yeah, It's right ... Yeah, I look at it. It's right next to me on my desk. I have the company mission statement and then I was like, "Well, I need to have my personal one here too," so I put that on there as well.
Nancy: I love it. Shunta, thank you so much. What a joy it's been to chat with you just about taking it one day at a time and practices that we can implement in our lives that will help us do that, and do that well. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you so much for being on the podcast today.
Shunta: Thank you so much for having me, and thank you all for being present with us today. We really appreciate it. We know your time is your most valuable resource, so thank you.
Nancy: Absolutely, thank you.
I'm going to close with words from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:
You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
Thanks for listening, and I'll catch you next time.
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