094 - A Year of Contentment with Reagan Reynolds, Part 2
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Show Notes:
Welcome back to my conversation with my dear friend, Reagan. Since we are so busy in the season of Christmas, I decided to split our chat into two different episodes so it'd be a little bit easier to digest in the midst of the holiday season.
If you're tuning in now and you missed last week's episode, head back to Episode 093 so you can get the full context of what Reagan and I are talking about. Because she and her husband took the Contentment Challenge, which is something I created many years ago, to the next level and they decided to give up shopping for an entire year in pursuit of a more content and debt-free life. It's just an amazing story. I won't leave you hanging any longer. Let's get back to my conversation with Reagan.
Click play above to listen in, or read through our conversation below!
Nancy: Tell me about this year. How did it shake out? How did it go? We're at the end of the year now, you've done this thing, I mean, just a few more weeks to go for you. What has been some of the most surprising things about this year that you guys have experienced doing this?
Reagan: Yeah. I mean, It's a challenge. It feels like one when you're in it.
Nancy: Yeah. Yes.
Reagan: But surprising things. I mean, who wasn't surprised by COVID-19?
Nancy: Right? Yeah. Totally.
Reagan: I feel like we were talking earlier, like-
Nancy: What a year to choose to do a year-long Contentment Challenge, 2020, a year of all years.
Reagan: I know. We launched this new year, we thought we were going to be on this remote island of no spending and giving up so many events and activities, and everyone else would be enjoying them. But then everyone, really unfortunately, joined us in our Contentment Challenge.
Nancy: So true. So true.
Reagan: So, that was a surprise. I think we felt more prepared for what this year had in store because we had already been ramping up to stay content with things, like no family vacations and lots of stay-at-home play. There are things we certainly weren't prepared for that we've had to navigate, but I'd say that was the most surprising thing. But also, another surprising thing is just how easy some things were to give up, but how hard others were.
For instance, I cannot think of a time in my life where a month by without me buying some article of clothing or some accessory, just that has always been a part of my life. But not shopping for new clothes this year actually turned out to be far easier for me than I anticipated. Not buying new furniture or things for our home was also relatively easy. But an area where we failed almost miserably, I mean just tanked, was purchasing Amazon Prime movies. Especially during stay-at-home times during this weird year, movies for the kids and our family were just hard to say no to. That was a bit surprising for me, that challenge, just how hard that was to say no. I mean, it still is now. We're still just navigating that in our hearts. I mean, movies aren't bad. We love movies.
Nancy: Totally. Yes.
Reagan: You know? Obviously.
Nancy: And if there was ever a year to watch a lot of movies, it's 2020. Come on.
Reagan: Yeah. It really got to this point where it's like, "Man, how do you determine what a need is?" You know?
Nancy: Yeah.
Reagan: Between a need and a want, there were some times where it was like our family really needs a break from each other and we're going to put a movie on. You know?
Nancy: Yeah. Totally. I totally get that. Yeah. 100%. No, thank you for your transparency about that. I think that that is why the Contentment Challenge is really beautiful. It reveals that in our selves, and sometimes we think it's going to be so hard to give up X, Y, or Z, and it's actually like, "Oh, that wasn't so bad." Maybe because you were preparing for it, but then this other thing. "Oh, about that other thing." It's sharpening in that way. I think that's good and I think it's good to just navigate it as it comes, and just continue to check your heart, because it really is all about your heart. But I totally get the need for movie nights and I think movie nights are great.
Reagan: Oh, we do, too.
Nancy: Question. Did you have any visuals in your home to help inspire you throughout the year? I know when Will and I were paying off debt, we had this big countdown, and every time we would pay off a chunk, we would mark through it in our kitchen, and it really kept us going. Did you guys have anything hanging up to where you could see your progress?
Reagan: All right, yeah. This is a good question. It's an interesting question, for sure. I think visuals are helpful. I kept a spreadsheet of our goals with graphs to show our progress. That was just in my computer. It was incredibly motivating, though. I used to be like not a spreadsheet girl, now I can't imagine my life without them. I rely heavily on them anyways for day to day activities, so it was always really fun for us to just check in and see that green bar just keep rising in our spreadsheet. That's just a really great feeling.
But I think apart from that, really, just seeing our boys in our home and doing ministry with our church community. It was a constant reminder every day that we are called to something far greater than the accumulation of stuff. It has been a really great reminder of what we are really here on this earth to do, which is to love people well, and you don't necessarily need a bunch of stuff to do that. And so even though we didn't have like a big visual in our kitchen, which your chart sounds awesome, I probably should have done that, I think we really took stock every day. During our daily check-ins, before we'd go to sleep at night and we were just asking each other, "How are you doing? How's contentment?" We just would think back on the people that we were in front of every day, and that was a really great inspiration to keep going.
Nancy: What do you feel like have been some of the greatest benefits of this year-long journey of contentment?
Reagan: Man, I will probably realize more of these benefits for years to come. I certainly don't think we've realized all of them. But there's a few that I can think of now.
One of the benefits is that it's very practical. I'm moving part-time in my job in January, and that's really thanks to our eradication of debt. I mean, that has huge implications for my family and for our family vision. That's just an amazing benefit. Also, we've grown truly content with our home. There are things that we would like to have, like bar stools for our kitchen counter. We've gone this whole year without any bar stools in our kitchen. But even if we don't have those, I think my husband and I, we're just in agreement, like really, we're good. You know? Those things aren't needed. It would be nice to have, but not a need.
Then our expectations have changed a lot. We don't actually need as much as we thought we did before, kind of like I was saying. We're living a lot more simply just in general on the day to day, and that's really practical. There's so many. Financially, we've talked a lot about this already, but paying off our credit card and our medical debt was awesome. We actually did that by July of this year, so it didn't even take like a full year, which is amazing. We didn't think it was possible to do it in one year, but it only took seven months. I don't know what that says about my spending habits from before the challenge. But yeah, I think we're still like, "Wow," about that. That was a pretty big deal.
Nancy: I mean, that's incredible, that you paid off all the debt. I remember getting that email, and you were like, "Guys, we have some big news. It's halfway the year and all of our debt is paid off." You're like, "We have to redo the rest of our goals for this year because we just reached it." I remember being like, "You guys are awesome." I was jumping up and down, like on the other side of the computer, like, "Holy cow." But you know, I think it's just a Testament to God's faithfulness and honoring what you guys set out to do. I remember when Will and I did a very similar thing. It's like God just blesses it. You know?
Anyway, sorry. I'm totally cutting you off. Continue with the greatest benefits. But I just remember being like, "Wow." Like, that is so God and that's just incredible.
Reagan: Yeah. No, you said it. You said it. It was definitely God. I mean, we did our part with the Contentment Challenge. I think He's been shaping the way we think about our money and where our money flows. But that was all God. We can't even explain it to ourselves, really. It was just incredible. So, yeah.
I think there are so many spiritual benefits to doing the Contentment Challenge. I think those are probably the most important. God is enough and sometimes you just have to be willing to lay it all down to discover what He already knows, which is He's our ultimate fulfillment. I'd say we have a deeper understanding of that now and we're more prepared spiritually. There were a lot of practical benefits in our life, but I think the thing that we treasure the most is where God has really carried our hearts through this entire process over the year. I think we're really humbled. I mean, completely humbled, actually, to know that He just was with us in this.
Nancy: Yeah. I love that. I do think that’s one of the greatest benefits and the greatest lessons I've learned, because it's a fasting of sorts. You know? You're fasting, you're giving up something that you're used to doing, and it's uncomfortable, and you're asking the Lord, you're inviting him into that space. He always shows up when you do that, but it's just beautiful to see how he's been so faithful to you guys. And I just totally agree, some of the greatest benefits that I've experienced in the past of doing this has been just spiritual, like how my heart has changed in it. Yeah. That's just really cool to hear.
Let's say somebody listening has heard of the Contentment Challenge, or maybe they have never heard of it until right now, but are kind of considering doing it, maybe for the standard three months. I usually do the Contentment Challenge January through March, in the beginning of every year. Or maybe they're even considering doing something as crazy as doing a year of contentment like Reagan and Jeremy did. We'll let the Lord work on their hearts and they can figure out what they want to do. But if you had something to say to them, if you had some words of encouragement, kind of on the other side of it now. No matter how long they want to try this or do this, what would you say to them? How would you encourage them?
Reagan: I think the first thing, it's not so much encouragement, maybe, as just like a statement that may be encouraging to some. This challenge, it's going to look different for everyone.
Nancy: Yeah.
Reagan: A Contentment Challenge is practically a very different thing for a middle-class employed family to navigate than, say, a family who may be in a season of having generally less than what they really need. And so, I think understanding that this challenge is not a one-size-fits-all solution to happiness is really important. I think sometimes, especially like New Year goals or something, we put some mystical magic around it. Like, "I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to be happy." But I really think that contentment and the Lord, it applies to everyone, but the needs of contentment vary by family.
So when you approach this challenge, I would just encourage you to really take stock of your own heart and your circumstances, and to work intentionally there. Don't spend so much time in comparison with others. It's just not relevant to the ultimate goal, which I believe is a true change of heart and a deeper understanding of what matters in this life that's been gifted to us. I truly believe that.
Some real encouragement, too, is that you probably won't do it perfectly. I mean, we didn't. I just shared about our Amazon movie binge. The goal isn't perfection. I think it's real heart change, so be gracious to yourself. Every day is a new day to stay the course and reap the benefits of doing something hard for the sake of your heart. It's worth it. It's totally going to be worth it.
Then, I guess I do have some advice, and it really is just to echo something that you tell us, Nancy, and the tools that you give. It's so good and it's so important, so I just want to say it here. Prepare beforehand. You tell us to do this. We did this as a family and it helped immensely. I bought a new bathing suit in December of 2019 to wear in the summer of 2020, and I'm so glad I did. When I pulled that thing out, it was a huge motivator, like, "I can do this the rest of the year." But I think what you say about really taking stock of your year and thinking very intentionally about what can help support you. I'm sorry, you don't say a year. You say three months. But what can help you support you through whatever length of Contentment Challenge, that pre-work is really important.
Nancy: I'm just sitting here thinking about the pre-work that you had to do for a whole 12 months. I mean, that's some really ... I just love that you bought a bathing suit in December. That's amazing. But I do think it even prepares your mindset. You're visualizing yourself in July not buying a bathing suit because you already have one. I agree, that work ahead really does not just give you like the material things that you actually need to fulfill the Contentment Challenge throughout that whatever amount of time you do it, but also it prepares your mind. You're visualizing yourself. Like, "Okay, I'm getting these things now so I don't have to buy them later and I won't kind of go down that trail of let me get this because I need it, and then let me get this because I need it." Then it just can spiral.
But wow. Reagan, this is just so great to hear all of that. I just want to echo what you were saying as well, that this contingent challenge looks so different for every family who does it. It looks so different for every person who does it. Actually, every time I've done it, I've done it without my husband. You and Jeremy did it together as a family for a really long time. I think the most important thing, and it goes back to the very start of this episode, is to start it all out with prayer. Like, "Lord, what are you asking of me? What are you stirring in my heart? What do you want us to do? What do you want our family to do? Is this just a me thing, like in my heart?"
Because I knew very clearly, Will has no problem not spending anything. It's me who needed the Contentment Challenge, you know? I don't know. I just think that it's a really beautiful thing to kind of start the episode was saying, like, "It all started with prayer," and then end the episode with saying, "This looks different for every person and every family," because I couldn't think of two more beautiful bookends to this conversation, because that's where it should start and how you should follow through on it. You shouldn't compare yourself or your Contentment Challenge, or the length of time, or what you're giving up or what you're doing to anybody else. let the Lord guide you in it. I encourage the three months because that's what God told me to do the first time. But now, I'm just recommitting to pray about it again and say, "Lord, what do you want me to do this time?"
Man, I'm so refreshed by you. I'm so thankful for this conversation. I feel so inspired to just kind of grab hold of the things in life that really matter, that are substantive, that are deep, that are meaningful, like the relationships in our homes, the relationships with people down our street, our church, and just kind of loosen my grip a little bit on everything else, all the staff, all the materialism, all the social media, all the things that really, I mean, they don't matter. I just want to thank you as a friend and I just want to honor you for what you and Jeremy did, and just listening to the Lord, and following after his voice, and doing what you've done this year. I agree. I think you're going to see just the benefits of this content life for years to come and I'm so excited for you guys. So, thank you for sharing so transparently with us today.
Reagan: Yeah. Yeah. Nancy, thank you. Thank you for sharing the Contentment Challenge with so many people. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to put something out there that worked in your life. We're really thankful for you. And thanks for this. Thanks for letting us tell our story. It just means a lot.
Nancy: Well, I know it's going to challenge and bless anybody who listens to it, whether or not they ever do the Contentment Challenge. Like, whoa. What a cool challenge. To just kind of listen to what you guys said this year, it's just so awesome. Oh man. I feel like I could talk to you for a long time, but I'm going to close with three fun questions, just because they're fun, and why not, and I would love to hear them. What is a book that you're currently loving?
Reagan: Oh, man. I have read so many books during 2020.
Nancy: I bet and I love it.
Reagan: It's like you have to find something, I think, during stay at home. This is a hard question. I think the book that has really impacted my life the most though, like is absolutely a game changer in all the right ways, is this book called Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin. I don't know if you've heard of it. She basically just kind of rewinds and takes a step back from the way that a lot of people are taught how to approach and read the Bible. She teaches how to read the Bible as a literary text.
The purpose of that is that you can read the Bible for yourself, like without necessarily the help of a study guide or a Bible study. Those things are great, but like you could read the Bible for yourself and get really deep, meaningful things that will really just keep your heart aligned to what scripture says. She doesn't tell a lot of her own stories in that or anything, it's a very practical book. It's basically just how to read the Bible. And that I thought I knew. I thought I knew. I didn't know, so that book has been really helpful for me. I would recommend that to anyone.
Nancy: I will definitely be putting that on my Christmas list. Love it. I am currently reading None Like Him by Jen Wilkin, which is also excellent. But this is my first book that I've read by her, so I'm loving her writing style already. I can't wait to check that one out. Yeah.
Reagan: Yeah. Yeah. That is such a great book. I read that one this year, too.
Nancy: It's really good, for sure. Okay. What is a product that you're loving? It can be anything.
Reagan: This is a funny question, just because Contentment Challenge, we didn't spend a lot of our focus on products.
Nancy: Reagan, what's the favorite thing you bought this year? Nothing. We've bought nothing, Nancy. Sorry.
Reagan: Yeah. Yeah, no. Jeremy and I knew that you asked this question on your podcast, so we've been thinking about it intentionally. I've got to say, we are fascinated and completely in love with our coffee pot. It's a really unique coffee pot. It's a brim pour-over. We got this thing in 2019 and I'm pretty sure that this thing also helped us get through just everything in the year 2020.
Nancy: Yes. Only coffee in 2020.
Reagan: Yeah. But it's really cool. It's an automated pour-over. What I love the most about it is that, you know, most of the time when you go to a coffee shop and you get a pour-over, it's like one cup of coffee. This thing makes a whole pot of that same intense, awesome brew. And it does it automatically, so you just press the button and it's like you're getting a pour-over at the coffee shop. So if you're going to splurge on something, we think that is worth it.
Nancy: I love that. That's amazing. I didn't know that existed and now I'm definitely going to want to look into it. That's awesome.
Okay. Final question. You know it's coming. How do you maintain a healthy soul and a fulfilling life?
Reagan: That's my favorite question. Yeah. I would really just say spending for me, at least, it's spending as much quality time in prayer and in quiet before the Lord as possible, whether you feel close to him or far away, and just feasting on his word. I don't know how else to answer that question.
Nancy: Yeah. Such a good answer. I love that.
Reagan: Thank you.
Nancy: I love you, Reagan. I'm so thankful for you. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
Reagan: Thank you, Nancy. It's been great to be here!
the Work & Play Cornerstore
All right, it's time for the Work and Play corner store, which is where I share a book I'm loving, and a thing I'm loving, and for quick access, you can head here and it will take you directly to my Amazon affiliate store so you can see everything I've ever mentioned here, on the podcast, or on Instagram. But instead of me sharing something that I'm reading and loving, today, I'm going to be adding Reagan's recommendations to the Cornerstore: Women of the Word, the book by Jen Wilkin, as well as her Brim pour-over coffee pot.
Just wanted to remind you one more time, if you were interested in the Contentment Challenge and learning more about it, go listen to Episode 003 on the Work and Play Podcast, and then click below to join us in January, February, and March, giving up shopping for a greater purpose of pursuing the Lord and true contentment.
I'm going to close with words from Charles Spurgeon who said,
"You say, if I had a little more, I should be very satisfied. You make a mistake. If you're not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled."
Thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time.
