059 - Growing Faith in Your Littles
- A special series: May is for Mamas -
Resources from this episode:
The 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, by Paul David Tripp
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Show Notes:
We're still in the midst of a special series that I'm hosting: May is for Mamas!
When we think about motherhood, one of the greatest honors and privileges that we have as mothers is to speak life and hope and eternity into the hearts of our children, to grow their faith and point them straight to Jesus. Now the weight of this is really real. I feel it because our influence in their lives is profound, but it's also exciting. And it's fun to watch their little spiritual eyes be opened and to have a part in opening them.
I often think I can take this responsibility super seriously. But when you think about it from a kid's perspective, they love fun. And as a young mom of three kids four and under, I'm learning that the more simple it is to impart faith, and the more fun it is, and the more seamlessly I just weave faith into our everyday conversations, the more impact is has on their little minds and their little hearts.
So I'm just going to walk you through these 7 simple ways to grow faith in your little ones from my own perspective and my own experience, and tell you a few stories, and just kind of lead you through it because I just want to say I'm not an expert in this. But these are completely taken from my own life and my own kids, as I'm trying to raise them in a home that's really centered on life with Jesus and walking in faith daily. And of course, I want them to grasp it and understand it, but these are just ways that I've seen that really help them to do that.
1. Music
The first way you can really impart faith in little minds and hearts is music. And I always try to have some sort of fun music going on in the car. It's not always kids' worship music. A lot of times, it's the soundtrack to Frozen, or something fun, or preschool playlists from Spotify, or whatever it is. But kids love music. They love motions. They love dancing. My kids go to preschool (the two older ones), and they also go to kids' church at the church that we've been attending. And I feel like just seeing them grasp putting motions to the music and singing about God's love, and then doing motions with it is a way they can experience it and have fun.
A couple of things I recommend for you to just try out and see if you like them, because I'll be the first to say that sometimes kids' music can just get on my nerves. I can't handle it. So I try to choose things that I can handle and that I like too. So I'm just going to give three quick recommendations. These are for preschool age and younger:
I really love Slugs and Bugs. It's kind of silly & fun. It's lots of different scripture set to music, and some of it is just really silly songs as well. You can find Slugs and Bugs on Spotify, but I think Randall Goodgame is the artist. He actually also has a TV show, Slugs and Bugs. And it's centered on faith, it's really, really great and really fun. And I like it because there's a lot of variety of artists and music that he incorporates into his albums.
Okay, the next one is Seeds Family Worship, and this is a lot of scripture and worship music. I think it's actually just straight scripture with kids and adult singing together. I really love that.
And then Go Fish is a great band that's really fun and upbeat, and you can kind of clap along and sing along and jump around to it. But it's really good, faith filled, inspiring music for kids that's also just really, really fun, a few silly songs in there too as well.
So the first one is just music, incorporating music all the time. We also really love to play on our piano with our kids and try to sing. And most of the time, it's the three of them banging on the keys, and it's a disaster. But we're just trying to instill in them music from a young age. We like to pull out our guitar and play and sing with them there as well. And like I said, it's nothing pretty. It's nothing perfect, but it's just trying to get their little minds engaged in sound because it's just a different way to get into their little minds. I think that kids really receive music well.
2. Pray with them and pray often.
We always pray before our meals and we pray before bedtime, but sometimes I'll stop when we're in the car, and I'll just say a prayer if I feel like one of the kids is just having a hard day or is super sad. I'll just ask if I can pray with them or for them, and I just hold their hand. And it's kind of a way to just quietly settle them. A lot of times at night too, if they won't settle, or if they wake up with a bad dream, that's always what we do. We always pray together. And it's pretty amazing. I feel like there's definitely a supernatural thing that happens because they do settle quite a bit when we call on God's name.
And second thing I want to say about praying with your children is just not to make prayer super formal. You have to think of it, when I pray, and my mother-in-law taught me this, when I pray with my kids, just say, "Hey, we're just going to go talk to God now. We're going to talk to Him. You know He's always listening to us?” And so instead of saying, "Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be they name," we don't say anything like that. We just say, "God, this is how I feel right now. I'm really scared, or I'm really tired, or I'm having a hard time. Could you please help us? Thanks for always listening. Thanks for always being with us." And just don't make it really formal, almost kid-friendly, and just say, "Hey, all prayer is is talking to God and thanking him and talking to him about how you feel," because that really is all that it is. But I think it's good to teach your kids that at a young age.
3. Allow them to watch you spend time with the Lord, to see you worship.
Allow them to kind of just watch you walk out your faith because, I don't know, I usually wake up earlier than them. I have my time with the Lord first thing in the morning, and I need that. Let's be real, I need that time where they're not crawling on me so I can actually focus. A lot of times when we're in church, they're in kids' church, and so they don't get to see us worshiping, so just every once in a while, it doesn't have to be every single day, but every once in a while, if you're having quiet time and the kids wake up early or whatever it is, just explain to them, "I'm spending time with God. I'm spending time with Jesus right now. I'm reading the Bible. I'm praying. I'm writing down some things I feel like He's saying to me. I'm writing down some prayers. And Mommy just needs to finish this, and you can kind of snuggle up quietly as I do this."
And just letting them see you do that, it's sweet. Milly doesn't see me do it that much, but she does know that I do it, and she knows about Mommy's quiet time. And usually on Mondays, I go back to the bedroom, and Will and I trade off having quiet time and watching the kids on either Saturday or Sunday, so we can actually get some uninterrupted time in and sleep in and get some rest. And the other day, it was really sweet. Milly found a spiral notebook and an old pair of my glasses. And I keep Aquaphor by my bed and I put it on my lips every night. And so she got her notebook. She got her Aquaphor, she got her pen, she got Mommy's old glasses. We popped the lenses out of them so she could wear them. And she said, "I'm just going to have my quiet time now."
And she basically copied everything that I did, and went and wrote in her journal, just scribbles, for 15 minutes, with her glasses on and my little Aquaphor next to her. It was hilarious, but so cute because it really made me realize she's watching me. She's picking up on what I'm doing, even though she doesn't understand it completely. She's watching me, and the way that she replicated it to a T was hilarious, but it also reminded me I need to let them in. I need to let them see me do this. And even in church, every once in a while, bringing your kids intentionally, one at a time, into big church with you. Let them see you raise your hands in worship. Let the see you interact with the sermon and take notes. Let them watch you do those things because that's important.
4. Take the opportunities when they come.
I really like a schedule. I like to go about my business. I like to do what I need to do. This is something I have to remind myself of a lot, but with spiritual matters, when their hearts are receptive to what God is teaching them, and when they become interested in faith conversations, or Jesus, or talking about what things mean, you have to take that opportunity when it comes, even if it feels inconvenient at the time. And I just want to pause and remind you that this is what it's all about. And sometimes in the moment, we can feel like it's inconvenient, or it makes us late, or it's not what we planned for today.
But just for you to know, that's what motherhood is about. This is what the whole purpose of it is, is to lead them to the Lord and to show them what that means, and to capture their hearts for eternity, and just foster in them an interest in spiritual things, and a love for God and for Jesus, and knowing him and walking with him. Just to remind you that it's never bad or wrong to be late for something if you're stopping to talk with your child about faith or some aspect of it that they're interested in.
I'll never forget, one day we rolled up to preschool, and I was running late. And all three kids were in the car. And Milly and I, going back to the music thing, we had conversations the whole way there about these words to a song. And it's actually a song that Jess wrote. Jess is my sister-in-law, my husband's sister, who's an artist. And she writes beautiful music. We listen to what we call Jessie music all the time. And one of the songs kind of talked about, referred to the prodigal son and how he gave me a robe and a ring and all these things. Anyway, I kind of paused the song all throughout the car ride to preschool.
And we get to preschool and we're running late. But I would explain little phrases or what it means, like, "Milly, do you understand what that means? And that's what God does for us. And that's how He loves us, even when we run away from him," and all these things. And we got to preschool and I was ready to go, and she just started asking me these questions and talking about how she really wanted to ask Jesus into her heart, and really was interested, and all these things, like, "I want to follow God. I want to know God." And I was just about in tears. And I was like, "We're late. But you know what, there is never a better reason to be late." Well, long story short, she didn't pray or do anything then. She just got really distracted by the kids in the parking lot and was like, "Okay. I'm ready to go. Nevermind, let's go." And so I was like, "Okay."
And I just kind of let her lead that. I didn't want to force it because it's really important that it's her decision. But the cool thing is just taking the time. Right? The whole point is just to take the time to allow your kid to explore and ask you those questions kind of on their terms when they're ready, and when the opportunity arises, not to push it away or rush it away, but just to take the time and talk to them about those things.
5. Talk about God in a really genuine and exciting way.
So again, kind of looking at this topic of God, which is huge and really massive, even for adults to understand. And then looking at that through the eyes of a child, you want it to be attractive to that child. You want to talk about it I a way that's not stiff or religious, but that's really fun. So a couple ways we do this, we always say things like, "Knowing God is so exciting. It's going to be the greatest adventure of your life. It's been Mommy and Daddy's greatest adventure, all the things that he has taken us through and taught to us. It's amazing knowing God."
Another way we talk about God is just talking about how much He loves them, like, "You have no idea. He's crazy about you. He loves you so much." And then just telling them, "You know what, Mommy always feels better after I talk to God. When I'm upset about something, or I have really big emotions, sometimes I just have to quiet my heart and talk to God because he understands more than anybody." And always bringing it back to myself, "When I'm scared, I talk to God. And I know he's right there with me. He always listens and always helps me feel better."
It’s just telling them the truth, and it's got to be genuine. But saying, "You know what, this is exciting. God is good. He's safe. He is a comfort to you," all those things that a little kid desires to know and hear is just really precious and helpful to do. And it positions God in a way that it's attractive for them. They're like, "Oh, wow. He's mighty. He's strong. He's huge. But he also loves me and understands me." I think it's really important.
6. Stop and observe God's creativity and nature and point back to him as our Creator.
One way that we do this is we talk about our tree. Every time we leave our driveway on a walk, we've got this dogwood tree. And this winter, I just had this idea one day. I was walking out the driveway, and I was like, "Guys, I want to show you this. This is our tree. And I want to ... " I pulled the branches down and I was like, "Look at these branches. Do you guys see any leaves on them?" And they're like, "No." I said, "But there are these tiny little buds. And what we're going to do every day as we leave our driveway all the way through the summer, we're going to look at these leaves and see what happens," and so that's what we did.
And I would pull them down, and it'd be a tiny little green bud. And then it'd bigger. And then the little leaves would start to sprout. And then flowers followed after. And they loved looking at it. And I just would talk about God in nature. And of course, the dogwood tree, if you are in North Carolina, or if you have a dogwood tree, it's the perfect example of talking about God in nature because the flower looks like a cross. There are little tiny red stains on the edges of each flower petal, which kind of is like the blood of Jesus' hands and feet on the cross. And then there's a little crown, it kind of looks like a little crown of thorns right in the middle of the flower. And it's a great illustration just to talk about Jesus' love and how we can see God in nature.
But you can do it with anything if you don't have a dogwood tree. You can just look at any flower, or any bush, or anything, even just the grass, and just saying, "Look at all the life in here. God made all this, and it's good and it's beautiful," talking about animals and how creative God is, and just bringing him into nature because kids love experiencing nature.
7. Grow your own faith.
I don't think there's a better way to grow faith in your children than to take time to make sure that you're getting fed spiritually and that you're growing your own faith as their parent. You know the saying, “more is caught than taught”? I think it's so important. Kids are so smart. They can pick up on someone if they're being genuine or if they're faking it. Right? They know if you're pretending. They know if you're being real. And I think that's why it's so important to make sure that you're growing your own faith, that you're getting fed.
Don't just get to know God for your kids so you can pass this on. Get to know him for you, for your heart. Let him fill you up every day, and then let it overflow into their lives because when you do that, you start to life in a healthier place. You can ask for forgiveness. You can model that. And you can always point back to Jesus as the one who helps us. He's our perfection, and we're not perfect. Don't hold back tears when God touches your heart. Explain to your kids. God is big. He loves us. He touches our emotions and feelings in the best way. Sometimes we laugh because of God. Sometimes we cry. But it's his love and goodness that truly moves us to tears. And just being transparent with that, with your kids, and letting them see you cry, letting them see you walk out your faith in a very genuine way is probably one of the best things that you can do for them to grow their own faith.
The bottom line is just to make talking about God and faith as normal as possible, so that when they have questions, they'll know that you'll lovingly answer them as best as you can.
When they get to that point and they're hungry, and they want to ask a question about God, they think, "Mom. Mom's the one I want to go to with this." They know that you're a safe person. And even as they get older, they're going to feel comfortable coming to you when they start to struggle with doubt, or have fears, or when they are ready to make that decision to choose Jesus for themselves.
What a gift, what a gift it is to be that person for them. And you might not be that person for them when they make that decision. That's okay. But I think it's just important to right now, in the little years, or even if they're older, just to constantly be genuine and talk about it seamlessly in your life, so that when and if they are ready to talk to you about spiritual things, that you are ready to receive them.
I'm going to close with words from Paul David Tripp. He said,
“In every moment when you're parenting, you are being parented. In every moment, when you are called to give grace, you are being given grace. In every moment when you are rescuing and protecting your children, you are being rescued and protected.”
May you be reminded today that the Lord is with you.
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