Beautiful pictures that we will treasure forever by Elizabeth Tate.

3:30PM on July 25th
I had just woken up from a nap. I was already on maternity leave, It was 4 days before my due date, and I had been chasing my 2 year old Milly around all morning. I felt mild cramps, and then they would subside. “Could this be it?” I laid there for 30 minutes, praying, timing the cramps, and begging God for help and His presence.

I texted Will, “Could you come up here please?”

A few minutes later, he was in the room. “I’ve been having cramps on and off for about 30 minutes. I think things are beginning.”

His eyes got big and he smiled. He leaned down and kissed me, and we both began to cry. “I thought we were ready for this,” he said smiling and laughing. Our emotions had both caught us a bit off guard, but that moment still remains one of the sweetest moments of my labor. The start of it all.

Before I continue, I’m going to give a bit of background, similar to how I did when I wrote Milly’s birth story. (Read Part 1and Part 2 of her amazing birth story, or just scroll down to the very bottom of Part 2 for a film that will make you cry for the brief version!) We decided to have a natural childbirth for both Milly and Lyndon, free of medication. I think every birth is beautiful and all mamas are heroes, no matter the way they come into the world! It is a deeply personal decision, and this was simply our decision.

For Milly’s birth, we prepared with lots of knowledge. We took Bradley Birth Classes (“Husband coached childbirth”), we read books, we memorized positions for labor and learned all about the woman’s body in labor and delivery. I’m not going to lie – it was a really hard labor and delivery for me. While I had the natural birth I desired, I also had to go into surgery immediately after birth because I tore internally (somewhere around 60 stitches – the doc lost count.) Recovery was hard and long. I couldn’t sit comfortably for 2-3 months. I also had some intense anxiety after having Milly, for weeks. All of that to say, I battled fear for much of my pregnancy with Baby Ray #2.

For Lyndon’s birth, it became clear to me that I had to prepare spiritually. I knew what my body would do, I knew the techniques. But I knew fear, and I knew that the fear had to go. All I could think of was the incredible pain, the giant emotions and tears the days following Milly’s birth, the pain of healing, the fear of tearing again and having to go into surgery.

It was about 2 months before my due date when the Lord began gently leading me through this process of ridding myself of this enormous fear and concern I had in my heart…

– I sing on the worship team at my church, and one Sunday morning (as I was very pregnant and leading worship – quite the sight I’m sure,) I saw a picture of myself laughing while I was in labor. It didn’t make sense to me, because I equated labor with pain and tears, so I knew it had to be from the Lord! I simply received the vision and asked the Lord for this to really happen.

I decided to memorize 3 verses to meditate on throughout the labor and delivery process, and those verses word for word began to form a new picture in my head of childbirth as well. (Those verses were Psalm 138:1-3 MSG, Psalm 27:1 MSG, and Isaiah 41:10).

– I read this blogpost by my friend Shaylyn. It honestly sealed the deal for me wanting another medication free birth.

– When Will and I went to our quarterly marriage counseling session, (which we highly recommend for all married couples!), I told our counselor about my fear. His answer was profound and so helpful. He said of all the people he’s counseled through different traumas in life, the ones who returned to normal life were the ones who were able to go to that quiet place of worship in their hearts on a regular basis. Healing happens when we enter God’s presence, and He encouraged me to take the time to really worship God in the quiet place in my heart throughout labor and delivery. Looking back, that made all the difference.

– Not too long after that, someone recommended the book “Supernatural Childbirth,” so I bought it and began to read it. I’m going to be honest – it was super challenging to my faith! Many testimonies in that book claim pain-free births (what the what!?), and that was so hard for me to fathom. But my faith grew with the scripture and testimonies, and I began praying the prayers in the back of the book. (Those prayers alone are worth the purchase of the book easy!)

– Will encouraged me to listen to John Piper’s Sermon “Fear Not, I am with you, I am your God.” Isaiah 41:10 was a verse I meditated on to carry me through. I vividly remember the day I listened to that sermon while folding laundry – just a week or so before I went into labor.

All of that to say, when labor began, I immediately began to pray. I put on worship music (listen to my labor and deliver playlist on Spotify). I cried out to God for help, and He showed up in a big way.

So back to the day of…

After that nap I went about life as usual. We had our friends Robert and Elizabeth over for dinner (Yes, Elizabeth on the NRP team!), because why not? I wasn’t in active labor – just early labor. And we all needed to eat and had plenty of food. I’ll never forget that dinner: Salmon, brussels, and sweet potatoes. SO good.

I made the statement, “I’d love to get a good night’s sleep, then for things to really pick up tomorrow!” Thankfully, that’s what happened!

We called my mom and sister (aka Sissy), and they caught a plane from Nashville, arriving at Midnight! I awoke around 2am, went downstairs to find my mom and sister asleep on our couch, and talked with them. My contractions had subsided, so I wondered if I was really even in labor any more. I headed back upstairs and fell asleep again around 4am.

The next morning was all hustle and bustle! The cleaning lady came and started to work on our house, Callie and Olivia came to pack up everything in the studio and move out for a month, my sister and mom were there, Will dropped Winston off at the neighbor’s house, I finished packing my hospital bags, and the mild contractions returned and were more regular. I ate a big breakfast and a big lunch, all the while knowing that these contractions were slowly getting more intense.

Will, Milly and I went on a walk. It was perfect. The time alone with them, especially with Milly, was just what my heart needed. It was the last time we spent time as a family of 3, and it kept me active. I’ll never forget the breeze and sunshine on my skin between contractions, and how sweet Milly was. I’ll never forget the picture of her running down the sidewalk in front of me, as I walked hand in hand with her Daddy.

2:00PM on July 26th
I laid down on the bed to rest and hopefully sleep. I put on worship music and rested, but no sleep came. By 3:30pm, I had been having mild, crampy contractions for 24 hours. I asked Will to make me a smoothie, which is when everything changed.

4:00PM
He returned to my side, smoothie in hand, and I began to cry. Psalm 43 played on the phone by Jenny and Tyler, and the tears came. This was IT. These contractions were intense. There was no turning back, and I knew it was time to press into the Lord because this baby was coming.

“I can’t eat anything. I don’t want the smoothie anymore. And I want someone with me.” I said that through the tears, explaining I was crying because that song was exactly what I needed in that moment.

My sister and Will took turns being by my side. Sissy encouraged me to sing worship through my difficult contractions, and that is what really helped me get through them. I headed downstairs to labor a bit more in the living room, and to spend some time with Milly before I had to say goodbye.

Elizabeth came to begin photographing, and Milly stayed right by my side. She would rub my back and say “Good job mama!” I of course would begin crying at her sweetness. She would also run around like a normal 2 year old and play. I think she knew something was going on, but she didn’t know what. I’ll never forget having some really intense contractions, then opening my eyes afterwards and her little face was right there in front of mine, smiling. Her eyes staring straight into mine. She reminded me so vividly of the joy that was to come – having her there was so sweet.

It came time to tell Milly goodbye, and I hugged her so, so tightly. I began crying so much, knowing it as the end and the beginning of wonderful seasons in our family. “Mommy loves you so, so much.” Is all I could say as I let the tears come. It was hard to communicate in that moment how much love I have for her, how precious she is to me, but I hope she felt it as deeply as I did. Grammy (Will’s mom) picked her up and off they went to Grammy’s house.

Sissy guided me through different positions to try, and things kept intensifying. My legs began to shake like crazy, which is exactly what happened during Milly’s labor just before we went to the hospital! My husband called the hospital, and the midwife on call highly encouraged him to come on in when he explained the signs of labor. I knew it my heart – it was time to go.

I finally told Mom, Sissy and Will that I felt like it was time to go. After talking it through, we all agreed, and we began making our way to the car. I had 3 good contractions in the foyer while everyone else loaded up, then I got in the car with Will.

Let me just tell you: that drive to the hospital is like a dream. I only remember parts of it. Also, we have wayyyy to many roundabouts in our neighborhood. Those were the worst! And they chose the most inconvenient time to pave the road outside of our neighborhood – the day we were driving to the hospital. Will cut through some construction cones to get me into the hospital! It was quite comical.

Part Two coming tomorrow… stay tuned!

Read Part One of Milly’s birth story here.  Beautiful Photos by my dear friend Cheyenne Schultz. Thank you. We will treasure these forever.

We checked into the hospital around 11pm. I had lost all concept of time, and everything at this point everything is very fuzzy in my memory. I was completely in a different place mentally and physically, focusing all of my energy on the work before me. I remember being shocked to find out it was 11pm – I thought it was much earlier! We were delivering at a brand new hospital, and it was like a ghost town. It had only opened its doors 2 weeks prior, and we were the only ones there to deliver a baby! It was pretty great. Instead of triage, I was escorted straight to a labor and deliver room since all of them were empty.

Upon arrival, I was 5 cm and 95% effaced. I was hoping to be further along, but I was also grateful I wasn’t going to be sent home. I hugged my mom and sent her home to get some sleep. After monitoring the baby’s heart rate for a while on the bed, I was glad to get off the bed and back onto the birth ball. I sat on it a while, leaning over the hospital bed while Will rubbed my back. Gracious, that back labor was intense.

Will put on his swimsuit and we headed to the shower. The warm water felt amazing on my lower back, so I sat on the birth ball for a while and Will coached me through each contraction. A few minutes later, we heard the nurses come in and say we had to get out! The water from my shower was leaking all over the ER downstairs, and we had to change rooms! Hilarious.

I put on a robe and scurried to my new room between contractions. We hopped right back into the shower because it was my favorite way to labor. Sitting on the birth ball relieved my shaky legs, and the warm water was soothing. My contractions took a new course, and I found myself yelling as my entire body took over. I was on a ride, and my entire body was heaving and pushing our baby down. It was painful and intense and incredible. I felt my water break while in the shower, and we called the nurse in to check me again. I was 7 cm, but she said my water did not break! I knew that it did, but she explained it was probably a high leak, so every time I had a contraction it would squeeze out a little bit of water. Back to the shower I went and continued to labor until 2:30am, when it became so intense I couldn’t help but push. At this point, I knew I had to be checked because I was getting close.

I was 9cm and 100% effaced, but my bag of waters had still not broken. The nurse said I was close enough to call in the doctor! Dr. Jacobs arrived and checked me, then asked if he could break my water. I said YES, please! Anything to make things progress! When I got on the bed and he broke my water, things became crazy. I remember it being the most intense pain when the contraction would come. I was writhing and yelling and just trying to cope – I was definitely in transition. Will later told me this was the hardest part for him to watch… he felt so helpless. I felt helpless too, and really ready to have our baby.

Just a few minutes later the Doctor checked me and said it was time to push! Let me say – I have never exerted so much physical energy in my life. I was giving this baby everything I had left in me. I pushed on my side, on all fours, on my back. My leg started cramping up making matters worse. I remember hearing Cheyenne’s voice and Will’s voice only. Will would coach me how to breathe, then how to control my voice and hold my breath. Cheyenne kept saying “good work, good work!” and that the nurses were warming up the table, waiting for my baby. That encouragement and coaching was exactly what I needed. I really could not have done that without them.

I had a longer break between contractions at this point, and before my final pushes I turned to everyone in the room and said, “Final guesses, everyone! Boy or girl?” Cheyenne: “boy!”, Toni: “boy!”, Will: “boy!” and I said, “boy!” The doctor said girl, but I didn’t find that out until later because I soon began pushing again.

I remember having waves of fear come over me, and I was afraid to push. Then I remember hearing the Holy Spirit say, “Don’t fear the pain, Nancy. Embrace it.” As soon as I made the decision to embrace the pain no matter what happened, I felt peace and determination like never before. It was go time. Every ounce of strength I had left, I gave to this pushing.

I felt the pain, and I heard the doctor saying he could see the baby’s head. He was wondering why I wasn’t making more progress because I was pushing so effectively. In the next push he said, “Oh! Here’s the problem.” And he pulled a tiny hand out from beside the baby’s head. Our baby was face up, a much more difficult position to deliver, leading the way with a tiny hand… making matters even more difficult.

I was yelling. I was trying not to, but I couldn’t help it. I would hold my breath, push, then yell. I wanted to badly to stop yelling because my throat was burning, but there was no stopping this train. Through the yelling and listening to Will and Cheyenne, I heard a different voice saying “Shh! Shh! Shh! Look at me! Look at me! Shhh!” I opened my eyes and the Doctor was looking straight at me saying “Look at me!” trying to get my attention.

“Reach down and grab your baby.”

What?! Did he really just say that? I reached down, and with Will’s help, delivered my sweet baby onto my chest. We immediately started crying our eyes out. It was so surreal. We finally had our baby.

Will had asked to be the one to announce the gender in the hospital room, but we were so smitten with the fact that we had our baby that he forgot! “So, what is it?!” One of the nurses asked. Will said, “Oh my gosh I forgot to look!” and with that, he announced “It’s a girl!” and we all laughed. I looked at our baby girl and smiled and said, “You tricked us! You’re a girl!”

Milly Elizabeth was born at 3:08am on May 26th, 2015.
Meeting my baby girl was one of the sweetest, most incredible moments of my life.

After snuggling her a few more minutes, the Doctor let me know that I had to have surgery. There was some significant internal tearing that could only be repaired with a spinal block in the OR. It was definitely ironic, being that I fought my hardest the past 24 hours to not use drugs, but I was grateful in that moment that I was in a hospital, in the hands of an experienced doctor. I was wheeled away, leaving my sweet girl in the arms of her Daddy for an hour, as they did “skin to skin contact.” These images are definitely some of our favorites. I was overwhelmingly thankful and peaceful as I was being wheeled away. Just knowing that Will and our baby were together brought me so much joy as I lay on the operating table.

I really can’t think of a better way to summarize this birth story than to say what an incredible man, husband, birth coach, and father William Ray is. I would not and could not have had a natural childbirth without him by my side. As I fought fears (with tears) throughout pregnancy, he spoke life over me. As I labored through every contraction, he was right there with me. Even when he had been up for over 24 hours, he never gave up on me, never offered me anything but words of strength, a hand to squeeze, encouragement, and endless back massages. I have never been more proud to be married to this man than I was after I delivered our baby. I know without a shadow of a doubt he’s not going anywhere, ever. My love for him has grown so deep, it’s hard to explain. I love you, William Ray.

After surgery, they wheeled me back into the room with my sweet family. It was 6:00am, and the sun was beginning to rise.

We named her Milly Elizabeth Ray.

This sweet film has me in tears every time I watch it. If the photographs weren’t enough of a gift, The Schultzes put together this incredible slideshow capturing Milly’s arrival. Grab some tissues, friends…

Music: "Just You" by Amy Stroup themusicbed.com

Baby Milly from The Schultzes on Vimeo.

Beautiful Photos by my dear friend Cheyenne Schultz. Thank you. We will treasure these forever.

I didn’t fully realize what a life changing experience Milly’s birth would be. I have learned to surrender my plans to the Lord’s throughout my pregnancy, and I learned to surrender to Him in a very real way during Milly’s birth. To provide a bit of context to my story, we decided to have a natural childbirth, free of medication. I was on the fence about this decision until taking our Bradley Birth Classes (“Husband coached childbirth”), which provided such helpful knowledge that educated myself and Will of the benefits of doing this naturally. In addition to the helpful information, I had this gut feeling that I should trust that God has given me everything I need to give birth. I had a lifelong fear of natural childbirth, and I felt Him calling me to overcome it. We have no judgement towards anyone who thinks and chooses differently than we did about labor and delivery – it is a deeply personal decision. I simply thought it helpful to give a bit of background before sharing our story. With that said, here is the story of how Milly Elizabeth Ray entered into our lives…

My first contraction woke me up at 3:30am on May 25th. I wasn’t sure if it was a contraction or not, but a similar feeling of cramps woke me up again each hour until 6:30am, when I started timing them. After I timed a few at 10 minutes a part while laying in bed, I finally woke Will up around 7am and told him that I think this might be the day our baby would be born! I also said that we shouldn’t get our hopes up, because the cramps might just go away and life could continue as usual. We snuggled a few minutes, then he jumped out of bed and said “we have stuff to do!” He skipped his usual coffee and morning routine in favor of preparing the house, wrapping up work, and loading up our bags in the car. He worked all morning. I had some coffee and prayer, wrote in my journal, and ate a big breakfast, then joined him in preparing for what could be the start of my maternity leave. We contacted my Mama and my friend Cheyenne who would be photographing the birth, to let them know that this could be the day!

The first half of the day consisted of work. I was glad for the distraction, and I had several blogpost drafts and emails to finish. We had been working for months to launch our new brand, and I after finishing the final touches on the website just 2 days prior, I wanted to make sure everything was set and ready to go. I worked in the studio while having contractions until Noon, then Will made me a big hummus and veggie sandwich for lunch. The contractions were slowly getting stronger throughout the morning, but I could still have a conversation and eat. I would just pause and breathe a little slower as I ate my sandwich. Meanwhile, my Mom was catching a flight (which was quite the task on Memorial day) and Cheyenne was packing her bags.

I was timing contractions throughout the day with my Pregnancy Plus app – my favorite app throughout pregnancy. With a full belly and manageable contractions, we decided to rest. I took a shower and laid on the bed for a while, and Will put on a Calming Christian Playlist on Spotify that allowed me to pray and worship while trying to sleep. I never actually fell asleep and neither did he, but it was nice to just lay on my side and rest for a while. It really wasn’t until this point that I believed this was it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so the entire morning I kept telling myself “these could stop at any minute. This might be a false alarm.” At this point, I realized there was no turning back.

(Above: we were laughing as we felt our baby’s hiccups!) After resting, I curled my hair and finished gathering my things. I’ll never forget putting in 3-4 rollers at a time, then having to bend over the bed to breathe for a minute, then going back to the curlers to continue the process. I put on my favorite pregnancy shirt – one of will’s softest t-shirts – and gym shorts. Simply getting ready took so long, but I didn’t mind it. I enjoyed having small tasks to focus on between contractions for most of the morning, until things began to change around 3:30 in the afternoon.

I started to have a difficult time talking through the contractions. All of the intensity was located down low, like cramps, and in my lower back. My contractions were 3-4 minutes apart at this point, lasting 45 seconds. Will called Cheyenne and said it was time for her to come. The car was loaded and the work was complete, so all we had to focus on was the work of labor ahead of us. My sweet Mother in law had just picked up my Mom from the airport, and they both stopped by to hug and encourage me.

Cheyenne arrived late that afternoon, and my contractions had slowed down a bit, to 5 minutes apart. We sat on the couch with her for a while, just talking. At first I was nervous and didn’t want to become “undone” in front of her, which is laughable considering all that she witnessed that day. It was so sweet to have her there with us! Will and I decided to take a short walk together, to hopefully get things moving. With Cheyenne’s encouragement, we then decided to order dinner and allow Will to sleep for a while. We called my Mom to come over, so she and Cheyenne could be with me while Will slept. Toni, our dear friend who would be filming, was on her way to get some footage and she brought Will and Cheyenne some pizza, while I ate some peanut butter crackers.

Let me pause here and tell you that I was convinced I would not be noisy when in labor. Will and I took a Bradley Birth Class (which we loved), and I would laugh at the women in the DVDs who would moan and make crazy noises. Let’s face it – it’s really an odd and funny thing to witness when you’re not actually going through it! I told Will that I thought I’d be a quiet laboring woman. Boy was I wrong!

Right when Will was ready to head upstairs to take a nap, the moaning began. I was trying to hold it back, but I couldn’t. Simply put, making noise just helped. My mom had just arrived, and at that point I looked at Will and told him I didn’t want him going anywhere. I needed him with me! Poor guy didn’t get the nap he really needed, but it’s just how it was. My mom would lay her hand on me and just say “Jesus.” Calling on His name was exactly what I needed for the hours ahead, and hearing my Mom’s prayers refocused me on the One who would give me the strength to go on. The Lord knew I needed to hear my Mom’s prayers at that specific time, just as things turned a corner.

From 7pm until 11pm I had my most intense active labor at home. Will called the hospital to let them know I would be coming soon. My contractions were 3 minutes apart, lasting on average for 1 minute each. I was moaning with each one, trying to drink as much coconut water as possible in between. I stayed much of the time on the birth ball, leaning on Will. My legs began to shake, and it was difficult to do anything that required my legs to hold me up. I took a bath around 10pm, and with each contraction my legs were shaking like crazy in the tub. It was at this point that we started talking about leaving for the hospital. Being that we live in a 3 story townhouse and I was on the 3rd floor taking a bath, I just wanted to be sure that I could make it down 2 flights of stairs with my shaky legs! I threw on a dress, and as soon as contraction was finished I’d tackle one flight of stairs. A few more contractions, then I tackled the next flight of stairs and got into the car with Will. Mom and Cheyenne followed behind. We were on our way!