It’s our last post!! Friend, this is it! We are officially finished with the “How we do it” series, by yours truly and the amazing Emily Thomas. I hope you have enjoyed learning all about the rhythms and routines that make our lives go ’round. If you missed any of the posts, I highly encourage you to bookmark this page and come back to it. I, for one, learned SO much from reading Emily’s systems, organization habits, and routines that I will be coming back for years to come!

A recap of How We Do It:

Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Life: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s Post
Relationships: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
Spiritual Lives: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
Today: Read Em’s post about Kids!

Today is all about our KIDS! I am fairly new at being a mama (I’m only 2.5 years in), but one thing I have learned in this journey: this area of your life can get super overwhelming super fast if you don’t stay on top of things.

There are a million different ways I could approach this post, and I’m very curious to see how Emily does it! I’ve decided on sharing six categories and how I approach each one!

Parenting
Work
Time
Clothes
Memories (Baby Books, Photos, Artwork, etc)
Toys

PARENTING

There are countless resources on parenting, but I just wanted to leave you with one resources that has really helped me and Will this year. Positive Parenting Solutions is an online course that has brought order to my brain as a mama, structure to our discipline, and calm to our bedtime routines. In a nutshell, I have really felt like it has organized my approach to parenting, which is why I had to include it here. Two of the biggest benefits of this course? It got Lyndon sleeping through the night after a really rough spell, and it has made mealtimes much more peaceful with a picky toddler. Talk about organizing your parenting!! Amy McCready has a wonderful way of teaching, and she also makes herself available to answer your questions every week. I promise this isn’t an ad – I really have enjoyed this course and it’s helped us in such practical ways. If nothing else, just watch her free webinars or get on her newsletter if you can. She really sends such valuable stuff! (Fun fact: I actually participated in the filming of it, so if you decide to purchase it, you will see me inside of it!)

WORK

One thing that Em said in her Organization in Work post was that she really appreciates having regular childcare as a working mama. I couldn’t help but chime in here and simply say that I agree. Here’s how I organize my working mama life: I work 3 days a week (T, W and Th) from 8 – 5. Mondays I’ll work a bit while Milly’s in preschool and while the girls are napping, but only if I want to. I’ve found this routine really fulfilling for me as a mama and a business owner. The majority of my week with family, and 3 days working. (With Milly and Lyndon visits, too!) I might even scale it back to 2 days a week in the future when hopefully more kiddos join our family – time will tell! But having our wonderful nanny Michelle keep the girls those 3 days keeps me focused and able to do both jobs well.

TIME

There are two specific things that have helped me tremendously “time and kids” category:

1. Schedule “mind body soul time” every day with each kid. This is something that I learned in the Positive Parenting Course I mentioned above : 10 minutes a day, undistracted, connected time with each kid. I call it “Mama Milly Time” and “Mama Lyndon Time.” When you give your kids the positive attention they crave, they feel connected and more and act out less. This has been so true for us. Not to mention, it makes me feel incredibly fulfilled as a mama. Even if it was a crazy day, I gave my girls the undivided attention they deserved, even if just for 20 minutes!

2. Allow for more time to do regular household chores so you can invite your kids in. My sister told me this when I didn’t know what to do with Milly all day. “Just invite her in. Let her sit on the bed with you and watch you as you fold laundry.” I try to do that as much as I can. Now sometimes, let’s be real – the TV goes on so I get get some things done quickly and efficiently. But as often as I can, I ask “my little helper girl” to help me – and she LOVES it.

CLOTHES

I called my sister in absolute tears. “You have FIVE kids. How in the world did you keep their clothes organized? I’m so overwhelmed! As soon as I clean out her clothes, it’s time to do it again! This first year of her life is crazy! Why didn’t I remember this with Milly?”

Kids grow freakishly fast. Clothes organization is KEY. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shoved Milly’s little piggy toes into jammies that were too small because I couldn’t find the right ones, and I still had plenty of too-small-clothes in her drawers. (Also, I shove my kids piggies into my all time favorites because let’s be real – I want them to last as long as they possibly can!)

That conversation happened about a month ago. I was a mess. So, I’m calling on some wisdom here. My sister, mama of 5, has the system down to an art. I am STILL learning it. But here is her answer to my cry-fest of 2017, and it has saved my butt!

Pretend like this is your big sister with 5 kids texting you. Thanks Sissy!

1. 1) Buy 2 sturdy Rubbermaid containers. One for Lyndon and one for Milly. Each year you buy the same type. So they stack nicely. Once you know you are done having kids, you don’t have to buy a rubber maid for the youngest child! Just pass those clothes along!

2. 2) Label each container on outside with whatever size girls are growing out of: i.e. Girls clothes size 2T FALL/WINTER OR SPRING/SUMMER You may want to use 1 Rubbermaid for “SUMMER baby girl clothes”-1 year and divide it out NB/ 0-3/3-6/6-9/9-12 with in one container bc those clothes are so tiny!

3. 3) Sort the clothes. Depending on how much energy you have… make a ‘capsule’ wardrobe for them. For example I do:

   • 3 dresses for Church

   • 7 shirts

   • 3 pants

   • 3 leggings

   • 10 Undies (esp for potty training years)

   • 7 Socks

   • 1 big coat*

   • 1 light jacket*

   • Mittens/ hats*

   • 2-3 Bathing suits*

   • Shoes (1 pair tennis shoes/ 1 pair boot* or Sandals* / 1 pair Sunday shoes- if boots or sandals can’t work)
     *seasonal

   This is all that goes into the box with a list on top. Then I am not packing away crazy excess. I choose my favorite things for them to wear and it is so exciting to open that box again!! When I don’t have the energy to do this, I just throw same size all in to a box and sort the next time I need to pull it out.

4. Put excess clothes and borrowed clothes into separate bags. Give away/ return to friend or donate.

5. Other tips:

   • keep an old empty diaper box in top of closet and throw clothes that they grow out of in that. Or clothes that frustrate you/ you don’t like.

   • label clothes from friends right away that you have to return. I usually put their initials in the tag.

   • if you get clothes ahead of season (ie: next fall- get another Rubbermaid that just says “next season.” Toss those clothes in there so they don’t clutter up drawers and closets)

6. Put Rubbermaid bin away. Fold all other clothes and put away in drawers and closets!

Wasn’t that the best??

I also LOVE Valerie’s approach to keeping her kids wardrobe SIMPLE. This is key, friends. I’ve gotten really good at giving away kids clothes I simply don’t like or that Milly doesn’t like. It eliminates lots of stress!

MEMORIES

I want to keep my babies memories simple and intentional. I organize my kids memories in 3 places:

1. Baby Books – 1 for each kid (I love the Emily Ley Baby Book best)

2. Family Yearbooks – We make 1 each year. I figured at the end of our lives all our kids can just divide these up! Take a look at how I organize all of our digital photos here.

3. Memory Boxes – I am committed to keeping 1 big tupperware box (nothing fancy) of schoolwork / artwork / memories for each child. That’s it. I’m sure it’s easy for me to say now when my kids are still so little, but I truly don’t want to keep clothes and papers that are so overwhelming they take over my attic. I really want to keep life simple and only keep the most important memories confined to the space of a tupperware box!

The idea with these memories is that I’ll hang onto all of them for my own enjoyment my whole life, but when I pass on to heaven it’ll be an easy way to give things to the kids. Each kid gets 1 baby book, 1 tupperware box of memories, and 5-10 family yearbooks. Meaningful, but not overwhelming!

Favorite picture by the amazing Gina Zeidler. Do you notice the pee on my leg? It was potty training weekend!

TOYS

Before I ever got pregnant, I feared toys the most. Light up, loud toys are my nemesis. Okay they don’t bother me quite as badly as they used to, but I certainly prefer a child’s imagination over a flashy toy.

Now, my biggest philosophy is simply that kids don’t need a ton of toys. I actually believe they focus on and play with fewer toys better, because they can actually see the toy they have!

All of Milly and Lyndon’s toys fit in 2 cabinets in our living room hutch. When it starts to get over crowded (namely at birthdays and Christmas), it’s clean out time. I will store toys that Milly has grown out of in the attic, and I will clear out toys she’s just not interested in and give them away. We also send out a suggested birthday and Christmas list of toys, and we aim to keep them educational, simple, and without the flashy lights and noises!

Lastly, I’m reading a book with the Nancy Ray Book Club right now that is incredible. It’s called “The Tech Wise Family.” In the day and age we live in, “Technology” could also have been it’s own category on this post. Since I’m not quite there yet, I wanted to leave you with the recommendation to read Tech Wise Family and determine how to organize technology in your home.

Well that’s it, friends! The How we do it series is officially a wrap. I would love to hear 2 things specifically in the comments, if you are brave enough to answer:

1. Which post did you find most interesting?
2. If you could ask me to write about something else on my blog, what would it be?

From the bottom of our hearts, thanks for following along!

Friend, this one is my favorite one.

Before I write anything at all, I want to share a few truths with you:

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a FREE life. – Galatians 5:13
There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. – 1 Cor 14:33

Let those words of truth sink in a little bit. Read them and re-read them. If you have been feeling disconnected from God, lost, or like you’ve been very scattered and disorganized spiritually, it is OKAY. I’m going to humbly share practices and rhythms that have helped my relationship with the Lord, but I want to be clear:

We can never, EVER earn it.

WE, You and Me, can never do anything to earn or perfect or organize our spiritual lives, our relationship with God – Jesus did all of that for us on the cross.

So if you’ve failed at keeping this part of your life consistent, or if you’ve had regular rhythms in your faith – WONDERFUL. He did it all, hallelujah! These words are for all of us.

To catch anyone up who is joining us: My friend Emily Thomas and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here! (And yes I totally stole this intro from her because it’s quite perfect.)

Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Life: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s Post
Relationships: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
TODAY: Read Em’s post on Spiritual Life
March 6: Kids

My faith backstory: I’ve been a follower of Jesus since I was 11. I was raised in a Christian home, but one summer on June 22, it became vividly real to me. I knew Jesus died for me and that He was perfect, but I didn’t think that it was a very loving thing to go and die for someone. I didn’t understand that at all as a kid. When I attended camp with my best friend, one night the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth that Jesus actually died in my place. The verse that made it all clear: “for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus.” THE WAGES OF SIN is death. I knew I had done wrong, and that Jesus was perfect. It clicked – He died on the cross so that I wouldn’t have to.

I crawled up in the top bunk and cried myself to sleep, overwhelmed by the love of God. I invited Him into my heart and my life as Lord and have been following Him ever since.

Through the years, I have learned and practiced so many ways of connecting with God. My rhythms looked different in every season, and I want you to know that it’s very important for you to connect with God in the best way for what season you are in.

In middle school and high school, I loved journaling and reading my Bible at night before bed. In college, I grew most studying scripture alongside friends in a girls Bible study. The first 7 years of marriage (before babies), I nailed down a morning routine that was life giving, full of prayer and scripture and meditation.

Now, I am learning to walk with Him throughout my whole day. I have rhythms I put rhythms into place that will help my spiritual growth (which I will share below), but more than anything, I am learning to ABIDE. To “keep in step with the Spirit” as Galatians 5 says to do. To talk to God and check in with Him throughout my day.

This shift began when my babies were newborns, and there wasn’t as much of a cadence or difference between day and night. My morning routine got thrown out the window, and I was desperate to connect with God however I could. I missed my time with Him every morning. I have since learned this way is much better – to have a morning routine, but to truly connect with Him throughout my days!

Take a moment to read these words below. This is my heart behind this post and the importance of organizing your spiritual life. Taken from one of my favorite books, Ordering your Private World:

Thomas Kelley says, “We are trying to be several selves at once, without all our selves being organized by a single mastering Life within us.” Again he says, “Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center. Each one of us can live such a life of amazing power and peace and serenity, of integration and confidence and simplified multiplicity on one condition – that is, if we really want to.” And that is the condition with which we must finally deal. Do we really want order without or private worlds? Again, do we want it? If it is true that actions speak louder than words, it would appear that the average Christian does not really seek an ordered private world as a top priority. It would seem that we prefer to find our human effectiveness through busyness, frantic programming, material accumulations, and rushing to various conferences, seminars, film series, and special speakers. In short, we try to bring order to the inner world by beginning with activity in the outer one. This is exactly the opposite of what the Bible teaches us, what the great saints have shown us, and what our dismal spiritual experiences regularly prove to us.” (p. 273)

With that perspective, I humbly share my current faith rhythms and habits (that I don’t do perfectly), hoping it will be an encouragement to you in your faith, too!

1. Meditate on Scripture daily

Throughout the years, I’ve done this so many different ways. I’ve read through the Bible 4 different times, reading about 4 chapters a day. I’ve read the same book 3 times in a row. I’ve read 1 chapter a day, asking the Lord to guide me in which books He wants me to read. And more recently with nursing babies, I’ve read 1-3 verses a day, meditating on them throughout the day. The point is this: get Scripture in your mind and heart every day. Let it be your guiding truth. It is POWERFUL. And if you want to take it a bit deeper, there’s a great chapter on Meditation in one of my top 5 books ever: The Celebration of Discipline. It’s incredibly helpful!

2. Talk With God

Otherwise known as prayer ;). But I like to think of it more as talking with God. Take the religion out of it! It’s more like sharing. Listening. Drawing close to Him. I aim to talk with Him 3 times a day: as part of my morning routine, in the afternoon, and in the evening before I sleep. I love the example that Shauna Niequest provides in Present over Perfect: approach prayer like Vinegar and Oil:

“When you pray, pour out the vinegar first – the acid, whatever’s troubling you, whatever hurt you, whatever is harsh and jangling your nerves or spirit. You pour that out first – I’m worried about this child, or I’m hurt from this conversation. I’m lonely, I’m scared. I don’t know how this thing will even get fixed. Pour out all the vinegar until it’s gone.

Then what you find underneath is the oil, glistening and thick: We’re going to be fine. God is real and good and present and working. … This is the grounding truth of life with God, that we’re connected, that we’re not alone, that life is not all vinegar – pucker and acidic. It is also oil, luscious, thick, heavy with history and flavor.

But you have to start with the vinegar or you’ll never experience the oil. Many of us learned along the way to ignore the vinegar – the hot tears banging on our eyelids, the hurt feelings, the fear. Ignore them. Stuff them. Make yourself numb. And then pray dutiful, happy prayers. But this is what I’m learning about prayer: you don’t get the oil until you pour out the vinegar”

3. Journal

My journals are some of my post precious possessions in my home. I have a cabinet filled with completed journals from the time I was 11. I have prayers, sermon notes, thoughts, and scripture written down from so many seasons of my life: when I just started following Jesus, when I gave up dating for a year in high school to strengthen my relationship with the Lord, when I graduated, when boys broke my heart, when my parents got divorced, when I fell in love with Will, when I went to college and was very homesick, when I became a wife, when we lived in Boone, when we moved to Raleigh, when I grew as a business owner, when I became a mother. Both of the girls’ birth stories are journaled in vivid detail, too. I wouldn’t trade these journals for anything.

Here are a few of my journaling practices:

– When I start a new journal, I write the month and year inside the front cover (ex: March 2014). When I finish a journal, I put the month and year on the back inside cover. This allows me to glance at a journal and know the season of life in which I was writing.
– I always write my name and phone number on the front page, so it will (hopefully) be returned to me if I misplace it.
– I keep a cabinet in my home only for my used journals. I call it my Omer of Manna! Moses said, “This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Take an omer of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the desert when I brought you out of Egypt.’” So Moses said to Aaron, “Take a jar and put an omer of manna in it. Then place it before the Lord to be kept for the generations to come. As the Lord commanded Moses, Aaron put the manna in front of the Testimony, that it might be kept.” Exodus 16:32-34
– If I attend a conference or workshop that offers its own small notebook or journal for note-taking, I choose not to use it. Instead, I bring my own journal with me and keep all notes from every sermon / conference / workshop in the same place.
– I often will take meaningful notes, letters, or post its and tape them inside the pages of my journals. It’s the best way to keep those words that I never know what to do with!

So, what do I write daily in my journal? I often begin by writing the following at the top of the page:

– The date
– My current location
– The weather
– My scripture reading of the day
– What I am feeling / my current emotion

After my detailed heading, which some days I skip because I want to, I just write. There is no particular formula to this part, but it usually includes a combination of 2 or 3 of the following:

– My favorite verses from that day’s Scripture, written out (not just the references)
– A written prayer
– “Count the Fruit” section: what I’m thankful for and what’s going well right now
– A description of the big events of my upcoming week
– My feelings on life or life events
– My goals: short term and long term
– What I’m looking forward to or dreading about the day ahead
– Notes / quotes from the book I’m currently reading

I get messy and let the words come out. I process my deep heart dreams on these pages. I connect with the Lord as I write, and it’s GOOD! Journaling helps me process, connect, and listen to the Lord in a very tangible way.

4. Listen to the Holy Spirit

I get asked this question so often: “How do you hear God’s voice? How do you know it’s God’s voice?” For me, God’s voice is like a strong impression on my heart, or it sometimes comes like a spontaneous thought that isn’t from me. He often speaks to me in pictures too, where I’ll get a random picture of something in my mind. Two resources that have helped me through the years: The Holy Spirit book by John Bevere and this teaching that is super old and dated, but also very helpful!

5. Attend and serve in our church

We’ve been attending our church for 12 years now! Will was on staff there as the youth ministries director for 5 years. We love it. This is simple, but an important part of organizing our spiritual lives: being part of the local church. We try to attend every Sunday we are in town and are healthy. I also serve on the Worship Team as a vocalist, and I love it so much. We practice 1 – 2x a month, and I sing on the team 1 – 2x a month. I say that Will serves our church by taking care of the girls the nights I practice and the mornings I lead worship, haha! It really is a commitment, but it’s so fulfilling and worth it.

6. Learn and Study

As you know, I love reading. I always endeavor to keep the books that I read based in a Christian perspective, so that I can learn from authors and experts who know much more than I do. This year I am excited to read The Road Back to You and Lioness Arising. I also do occasional Bible studies (Beth Moore, Well Watered Women, and ALL Good Things are great resources). I did more Bible studies in high school and college, and now I read more books. It all depends on the season I’m in!

7. Memorize Verses

There’s nothing better than having a verse come to mind when I need it most. Memorized scripture can be a lifeline in life’s darkest moments. That doesn’t happen by accident either. It takes time and effort to commit scripture to memory, and often times we don’t feel like doing it because it’s not important today. However, we don’t know when it will be important to us!

Confession: I really desire to be better at this. Memorizing verses is a beautiful tool to allow God’s word to pop up in your heart and spirit at any time – whether you have your Bible or not. Last night as I was praying with Will, I quoted 3 scripture in my prayer, and it made it so powerful because I knew I was speaking TRUTH. The best ways I love to memorize scripture: writing them on my chalk wall and reading them outloud, notecards on my bathroom mirror (or in a ziploc bag in the shower!), and the app Verses.

8. Practice the Daily Office

What is the daily office, you say? Great question! This is new to me in my Christian walk. I learned all about it when I read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality 2 years ago. Instead of having a morning devotion, then forgetting God the rest of your day (which was what I have done for years), it’s the practice of taking time to stop and be with God at least twice a day. Breathing deeply, having a moment of silence, meditating on a verse or a teaching, talking with God. It’s the practice of truly connecting with Him throughout the day. I use this book as a guide, and it’s wonderful.

9. Honor a weekly Sabbath

This has been something that I completely disregarded for years of my life, but more recently it has been incredibly life giving. I started on this journey when I began speaking at Return to Rest – a small Christian retreat for women – 3 years ago. I researched the Sabbath and came to the conclusion that the Sabbath was intended for our lives as a rhythm put in place at Creation! It didn’t ever go away. Jesus practiced the Sabbath. God tells us to honor the Sabbath. It is NOT about legalism, but FREEDOM. This sermon rocked my world this year on the true meaning of Sabbath rest. Sabbath literally means to cease work, so when I take my weekly Sabbath, I do the following:

– Cease work (or anything that feels like work to me, including laundry)
– Remember what God has done – take time to dwell on His work for us
– Enjoy life and creation by doing something fun and lifegiving (this past Saturday I took the girls to a farm and then went on a two mile walk)

Imagine if you did this once a week. AMAZING, right? Well I’m here to tell you it IS amazing, and it’s part of God’s plan for you! It’s not to be legalistic, but life giving and restful. Side note: I also use paper plates every Saturday because I hate doing dishes, haha!

10. Tithe and Give

The word “tithe” means 10%. Scripture tells us to bring our tithe – 10% of our income / increase – to the Lord. An offering is anything above that 10% tithe. Notice I said “bring” and not “give!” We are bringing the tithe and returning it to the Lord, for it’s already His. We cannot “give” something that is not ours to begin with, so we bring our tithes to our church.

Money is such a personal thing, y’all. Sadly only 10-25% of a normal congregation tithe regularly, and Christians on average are only giving 2.5%. This is a big part of organizing our finances, too. It has to be the FIRST thing we do, or we won’t do it. Just think of what we could do for God’s kingdom if we yielded our finances to Him in obedience! Side note: anything above a tithe is considered an “offering” – and we aim to give much more than our tithe each year! It pumps us up and gets us excited to see God’s kingdom expand in the earth!

•••

That was… a lot. It’s a bit difficult to be brief when something means so much to me, has changed me so deeply, and has been a part of my life for 19 years. This is an ongoing journey, isn’t it? The beautiful thing about the Christian walk is there is ALWAYS more to learn, always more to God, always deeper truths to discover about Him and yourself, always more areas of life to grow in. Even as I’m wrapping up this post, I’m remembering things I could have shared: the importance of missions trips in my life, my contentment journey, our life in full time ministry, the important role my youth group played in my life… it goes on and on.

If you find yourself at the end of this post wondering – “How do I get that peace and faith?” I want to tell you something that seems too good to be true, but it’s not:

It can be yours for free.

Just as I said earlier – Jesus died the death you should have died, and purchased life for you. A FREE, beautiful, whole life. All you have to do is choose Him. “Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, believe in your heart that God raised Him from the grave, and you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

•••

I would love to hear some brave, honest answers in the comments. What do you have questions about? Where have you struggled? What about this post was new or interesting to you? I’m all ears and would LOVE to know! And if there’s enough comments, I’d love to do a follow up post to answer any other questions too.

Don’t forget to read Em’s blogpost today, too!

And if you’ve made it this far, you deserve a cookie. Like FORREALL. That was a doozy of a blogpost!

Affiliate Links used in this post!

I can’t believe that after this post, we’ll only have 2 more left in our organization series! (Coming up in the next two weeks: Organizing our spiritual lives and Organizing our kids. It’s gonna be a good!)

Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Emily’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Life: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s Post
TODAY: Relationships – read Emily’s post here!
February 27: Spiritual Life
March 6: Kids

This post is an exciting one to me. The older I get, the more I realize just how important it is to prioritize the relationships that mean the most to me. Organizing all of these other wonderful aspects of life – our work, our homes, our time… it’s honorable and good. But the one category we’ll be able to take with us after this life is over? Our relationships. I believe the relationships we invest in here on earth will be carried on in heaven. I think we will recognize and know our families and friends, continuing to build on those relationships in heaven. It’s a pretty amazing thought, isn’t it? That’s why It’s worth spending time prioritizing and organizing them here and now. And that’s what today’s post is all about!

Another thing I’ve learned through the years: you can’t grow deeper in relationship with someone you aren’t willing to spend meaningful time with. Period. Relationships require time and intentionality.

So organizing the relationships in my life comes down to prioritizing time spent together while opening up meaningful communication. Let’s take a look at how I organize the most important relationships in my life!

My relationship with the Lord
This one is the most important relationship of them all. If you aren’t a Christian, you might find it odd that I listed it here. While I will be covering much more about this topic next week, I want to be clear and say: when I prioritize spending time with the Lord, all of my other relationships in life are much more fruitful, joyful, and in unison. It all starts here.

My relationship with my husband
I love my sweet husband so much. We’ll be celebrating 10 years of marriage this year, and 14 years of being together as a couple. It’s easy to think, “We’re married! We live together and do life together. There’s nothing that needs organizing here.” But nothing could be further from the truth. I think that’s how things get a little too routine in a marriage. For a while it’s probably fine, but after years and years of a marriage with little to no maintenance, there’s too much risk for boredom, unspoken anger, and ultimately divorce. A longlasting marriage takes work, and this is how we organize our relationship:

Daily: We always ask “how was your day?” and take time to listen. If there’s something “off” between us, we always bring it up – even if we can’t pinpoint it, I’ll say something like “Are we good? I feel a little off today.” We always kiss each other goodnight.

Weekly: We have a “Sunday check in” where we go over our schedules for the week and ask each other 6 questions – the same questions every Sunday. (Will knows I really appreciate eye contact during these questions ;)). We got these questions from Beating the 50 Percent and we have really loved them.
1. What brought you joy this week?
2. What was something that was hard this week?
3. What’s one specific thing I can do for you this week?
4. How can I pray for you this week?
5. Is there anything that’s gone unsaid, convictions, confessions, unresolved
hurt?
6. What’s a dream, desire or thought that’s been on the forefront of your mind this week?

Monthly: We go on at least 1 date a month, and we also add these two questions to our list:
7. How are we stewarding our finances?
8. How is our sex life?

Quarterly: Will and I see a marriage counselor once a quarter. We have been doing this for about 2 years now, and it’s been incredibly helpful navigating some difficult conversations as well as inspiring during the easy seasons of marriage. We highly recommend it!

Yearly: We always do something special around our Anniversary… extra special date night or a getaway somewhere.

Noteworthy Milestones: Every 5 years, we do a more extravagant anniversary trip. For our 5th anniversary, we lived on a boat in the British Virgin Islands for 7 days, and it was amazing. We’re coming up on 10 years, and we hope to go to Italy! We also plan to renew our vows every decade (10, 20, 30, etc).

Image by Eric Kelley

My relationship with my kids
My girls are 2.5 and 6 months old, so it certainly is fairly simple to keep these relationships organized especially when comparing it to some of you who might have grown children. However I do want to leave you with one piece of advice that has changed the game for me and Will this year: “Mind Body Soul Time” with each kid for 10 minutes a day, twice a day. I learned this from my friend Amy inside her course: Positive Parenting Solutions. It’s the best way to keep our relationships intentional, and it fills their little attention buckets in the best way. So here are the rules: for 10 minutes, twice a day, each parent gets 1 on 1 time with each kid. The KID gets to decide how they want to spend the time – not you! And you have to keep it uninterrupted. No TV, no phone, no talking with your spouse – just you and the kid. It’s been so fulfilling for me as a working mama too – to always know we will have “Mama Milly time” and “Mama Lyndon time” leaves me feeling so fulfilled at the end of the day.

My relationship with my family
My family includes my Mama, sister Mary Lindsey, and her family (husband and 5 kiddos!) who all live in Nashville, TN; my Dad and Leslie and younger siblings Ryan and Reba, my brother Johnny who lives in PA, Will’s Mom, Will’s sister Jess and husband Kyle, Will’s brother John and wife Sam, and Will’s Dad. In short, both sets of parents are divorced and most siblings are grown and married… which makes for a lot of people to connect with individually!

Because there are so many households to schedule and connect with, we aim to connect with each at least every other month. For the local family, that means something in person. For distant family, that’s a little harder to do, so I try to facetime more often to make up for it. In addition to these times of connection, we try to have 1 trip with Will’s family each year, and 1 trip with my family each year. And of course, Christmas looks a bit like the movie 4 Christmases, but it’s worth it because we do love spending quality time with each parent and sibling. Thankfully, our families are incredibly gracious and nothing like the movie, so we can spread out our celebrations over the span of a week!

My relationship with my friends
Has anyone else found it more challenging to invest in friendships the older you get? I have. To be honest, looking back at my 20’s, I was so driven and focused on work, I let a lot of relationships go. It’s one of my biggest regrets and it makes me sad, but thankfully I am more intentional about my friendships now, while simultaneously dishing out much more grace to myself now that I have kids.

There are 3 weekends a year that I take time to invest in our friendships:

1. Minki getaway: this started just last year, but we’ve officially made it an annual thing. Me and my 3 best girl friends getaway for 1 night, maybe 2… just to laugh and be together and relax. A spa is usually involved, too. We’ve been best friends since 9th grade, we’ve been bridesmaids in all of our weddings, and it means so much to all of us to set aside time for this each year.

2. Camping with the Thomases: Yes – we love to go camping with Emily of Em for Marvelous’ family! Every year we choose a date and location and fight to make it happen in our busy schedules.

3. “Grandview Vacay”: This is a friend and business retreat with the Schultzes and Wheatons… some of our dearest friends. We’ve been doing this for 4 years now, and it’s so nice to get away and laugh with some like minded business owners.

There’s nothing like spending time to invest in relationships, and no better way to really do that than a weekend away together. But in between all of those weekends, with those and other friends, Will and I try to have a steady social calendar. This is fairly simple, but it looks like 1 – 2 dinners a month, in addition to 1 playdate on a mama day.

My relationship with my team
I love my team. If I’m honest, Callie and Olivia have become some of my dearest friends. Talk about spending time together – I spend the MOST hours with these sweet girls.

Each morning, we have a morning huddle. We share a Bible verse, pray together, and share our 3 priorities for the day, while also reporting whether or not we finished our 3 priorities from the day prior. It’s a great way to connect meaningfully before work.

We also just stop working when life calls for it. If we need to share something on our hearts, we do. We always try to love and support each other throughout our work days.

Outside of work, we love and support each other as well through birthday celebrations, running races and showing up for support, going to fundraisers together, and occasionally grabbing dinner as well. This means so much to all of us, as it’s important to share in life together outside of the daily grind of keeping NRP going.

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Don’t forget to read Emily’s post today, too!

I’d love to hear: what was most helpful or new to you? And do you have any suggestions or tips for how you organize your relationships? I’m all ears!