Pregnancy
My pregnancy this time around was the most difficult of the three. Not because of sickness - it was actually the best as far as nausea and sickness go! I don’t think I had a day of morning sickness this time around. In my 2nd trimester, my legs and ankles became very swollen, and the varicose veins in my legs went a little crazy. As in - purple and blue and 80 year old grandma looking crazy all up and down my legs. They burned and were sore. I wore compression stockings to the top of my thighs most days of my third trimester. (Do me a favor and don’t imagine me and my giant belly trying to squeeze those sausages into compression stockings every morning!) Flying to Italy and Utah for family travel took extra care. Some nights when I went to bed it looked like my right ankle had been injured - purple and blue and the size of a tennis ball. I kept getting checked at the doctor to make sure nothing was wrong, and even though I was at a higher risk for blood clots, thankfully everything kept checking out as completely normal. My acid reflux was another level with this one too: I would prop up with 5 pillows every night to sleep and take two Zantac. I’d cut off all food and water at 7pm, and I’d STILL have acid reflux. I also experienced pregnancy insomnia - where I would wake up some nights at 2am and lay in bed for hours and hours, unable to go back to sleep. Just a lot of things I had never dealt with before in pregnancy. (Except the reflux - I’ve always had that!)
Two weeks before my due date, I broke down. Sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted, working extra hours to finish everything. I would cry to Will almost every night. I ended up calling my mom, asking her to fly in to be with us to help with the girls so I could finish work with extra help around the house and with the girls.
I was begging God to speak to me, and to help me. I felt very out of control. I remember praying in church, and feeling like He was telling me that my physical pain and emotional instability would be reversed and I would be healed - that I would be more energetic and lively day by day leading up to the birth. I began to claim that every day as my reality - that all my painful symptoms were being reversed so I would be energetic and stronger than ever for birth! I posted scripture to my mirror and read it out loud every day. My faith was being stretched in a very real way.
The Week of my Due Date
My due date was December 10th, 2018. In both of my girls’ pregnancies, I never saw my due date. Milly came one day early, and Lyndon 3 days early. I was expecting this baby to arrive 5-7 days early according to the trend of my girls! I began having cramps and light contractions on December 7th, and made mention of it to Will. They were very sporadic though, so I stayed hydrated and kept on with life as usual.
Well WOULDN’T YOU KNOW that on December 8th, 2 days before my due date, the biggest snow that Raleigh has seen in December in years happened! Here’s what you have to know: Raleigh completely SHUTS DOWN when it snows. Stores close, schools close, people don’t know how to drive, every one clears out the grocery stores days leading up to it. 2 inches of snow is a lot for Raleigh, and we woke up to 7 inches on the ground!! It was beautiful and I was feeling great. We went exploring outside and watched Christmas movies. We had family staying with us, since the roads were so bad and we wanted someone here overnight in case we had to leave. At 3am on December 9, my contractions became regular. I timed them at about 10 minutes apart. After an hour, I woke up Will and we called our midwife.
Typically I labor a long time at home, then head in to the hospital when things are super intense. This time, I was Group B Step Positive and I was having my baby at a birth center, so they wanted me to arrive at least 4 hours prior to when the baby would be born so I could get my antibiotics. When I called at 3am, I was pretty much thinking “This is it! We have to drive to Cary on black ice in a snowstorm to have this baby." But my midwife and I both agreed for me to have a tall glass of water and try to sleep one more hour before deciding. Well, after that, I fell asleep for 3 hours and my contractions disappeared! This was after they were 7-10 minutes apart for a couple of hours. I hadn’t had prodromal labor with the girls, but I did with this baby! It was tricky to know when it was the real deal or not!
The funniest part was that on the 9th, we lost power. THE DAY BEFORE MY DUE DATE, we completely lost power in our house. We spent about 4 hours straight packing for ourselves, packing for the girls, packing for Winston, packing for the hospital (thinking we wouldn’t come home without a baby), and moving all of our refrigerated and frozen items into coolers and putting them on our snow covered porch. (I saved this in my “family” story on Instagram if you want a peek into the mayhem.) We loaded the car completely with our bags, 3 carseats, 2 children, and one giant dog. And on top of that, Milly was crying and crying, saying her tummy hurt. Bless. As Will was manually pulling up our garage door, toddler crying, car full of suitcases, 2 kids and a great dane… the lights came back on. WHAT. We didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, to stay or to go somewhere that guaranteed power overnight!
We decided to stay. John (Will’s bro) and Sam (John’s wife and my bff) came to stay with us overnight just in case I went into labor. Not so side note: they MOVED that weekend, and came to stay with us. They love us.
The 10th was my due date, and it was a great mama day. There’s not much to say about this day other than it was a blissful, normal day with my girls. I felt strange all day, like “is this really my due date?” But it was life as usual, and it was a gift.
The 11th I had Grammy (Will’s mom) come watch the girls, so I could finish some projects and attend the memorial service of a dear friend’s father in law. I was SO grateful this baby stayed cozy so I could be there that day. God knew I wanted to be there so badly. After having a very busy day of errands and tidying as well, I picked my mom up from the airport that evening! I was SO relieved she made it!
The Day Before: The Worst Day
The 12th, I woke up feeling “off.” I always want my coffee, but it didn’t look good to me. My stomach was feeling weird. Milly was crying and begging me to hold her when I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. Thank the LORD for my sweet mama and the timing of her arrival! I’ll spare you the details, but I spent the rest of the day throwing up, in the bathroom, or laying on my bed very weak. Being 40w2d pregnant and throwing up is a unique kind of awful. I had a fever and could hardly keep anything down. I asked for prayer on Instagram and many people responded saying, “your body is clearing out and getting ready!” Well I am sure that this was some kind of awful bug or stomach flu - it was much more than just my body “clearing out.” The fever and weakness and not able to keep anything down or move or even read a book or watch a show… all of it just wiped me out. I could do nothing but lay there and pray.
Will came home from a long day of work around 6pm and said he felt terrible. I had looked forward to him coming home to be with me and care for me, but he was very sick when he arrived. His fever was 102.5, so he went straight back out to the doctor.
He texted me: “I just tested positive for both strains of the flu.”
SERIOUSLY?! Are you serious right now? I’m 2 days overdue with baby #3 and sick as can be and you have 2 strains of the flu?!
We both couldn’t believe it.
We agreed that he should stay at his mom’s house that night to spare me, my mom and the girls from catching it.
I’ll never forget waddling around our bedroom packing his bag for him. “Lord, what is happening?” I had to stop and breathe as I put his pants, shirts, boxers, toothbrush, books, and medicine into his overnight bag. I was so incredibly weak… it was so difficult to just pack the overnight bag for him. I put his bag on the outside steps of our house when he arrived. He had just thrown up in the bush outside our garage. He could barely drive himself, but we had no other choice. We weakly waved goodbye to each other, and off to his mom’s house he went.
I had been having contractions all day. I knew they were due to dehydration and me not keeping fluids in me. I’d have maybe 1-3 an hour, so not super regular.
But that night: they kept coming. I woke up once every hour at least because of my reflux, my fever sweats, and my contractions. It was a terrible night - I was exhausted and alone. But thankfully, I wasn’t really alone, the Lord was right there with me, and I was on the mend. I had stopped my trips to the bathroom and could sip water. I was SO thirsty.
Around midnight, Jess (my best friend and Will’s sister) texted me and Will a link to the song Psalm 91 by Shane and Shane, and I hit play. I think I listened to it four times before falling back asleep around 1am, with tears rolling down my face.
“He will raise you up on eagle’s wings…” I clung to that promise all night long. The vision of soaring like an eagle high above all of this mess and sickness was a vision I clung to all night and all throughout labor.
December 13th - Beaufort’s Birthday
8:15am - I woke up and the contractions didn’t stop. Every 10 minutes or so they would come, and they were regular now. I called my midwife and we agreed - I needed to come in and get fluids. I told her that Will had the flu and I was terribly sick the day before, and she said that fluids could help slow labor down.
9:00 - I took a bath and got dressed. I realized in the bathtub that I needed to breathe through each contraction. These were getting real. I was moving very slowly, and couldn’t talk through them. I knew I needed to grab my overnight bag - I probably wasn’t coming home.
10:15 - I called Will and he wasn’t answering his phone. I texted and called again - nothing. Praise JESUS Grammy (Will’s mom) was still there! She went in to wake him and tell him to head to the birth center. He called me back and said he’d get dressed and head that way. He took lots of meds and got ready to go.
I’m so thankful - Sam and Michelle (our nanny) both arrived when we called them to come that morning. Sam watched the girls while Michelle washed everything in our house and wiped down all of our surfaces with clorox wipes while my mama drove me to the birth center.
I’ll never forget Milly saying “I want to give one more hug to the baby!” and she ran up and hugged my belly so big. Tears filled my eyes… I hadn’t touched or hugged my girls for the last 48 hours because I didn’t want them to get the stomach bug. That last hug was just what my mama heart needed.
10:40 - The drive to the birth center was about 40 minutes. I texted my wonderful birth photographer and friend Lauren (who lives two hours away) and let her know I was on my way to the birth center. I remember my mom asking me which way to turn at a stoplight and I couldn’t talk through the contraction and just kept pointing to the left. We arrived at 11:15am, and I was still breathing deeply through contractions. My midwife Rebecca was amazing. She was such a calming presence and listening ear. She was the very first midwife I saw at Baby + Co and I was so happy she was there when I arrived. She had a hard time getting the IV situated because my veins were so small from dehydration, but finally she began the fluids and antibiotics.
12:15 - Just after she escorted me and my mom to my room, Will arrived. HEARING HIS VOICE WAS EVERYTHING. I cannot even tell you - the assurance of his voice coaching me through each contraction gave me such peace and confidence, I was so grateful for his presence. He was still sick with the flu, but God gave him such amazing strength that day. He was ready to support me however he needed to, face mask and all.
Birth photos by Lauren Jolly